Love Is For Humans, Not For Things
by Aeternus-Spes
Summary: YukimuraxSasuke. Major angst fic... 'As the last of Sasuke's consciousness fades, he manages to whisper, “What would you want with a useless failed experiment like me, Yukimura? Love is something given to other humans. Not things…” '
1. Chapter One: Black Blades and Blood

_Chapter One_

_ Black Blades and Blood _

"Why am I such a screw up?!" Sasuke yells, slamming an arm into the trunk of the tree, barely wincing at the pain, as small amounts of blood trickles down his arm. His breathing is heavy and laboured and whenever he shifts his blood drenched clothes stick to his flesh. His head is bowed and his white bangs are hiding his eye as his hand against the bark twists and desperately tries to grab onto the tree as his knees give way and he sides painfully down to the ground.

The bright sun seems to mock him, not allowing him to be surrounded by rain which would better suit his feelings.

"He got hurt - again." His voice quavers as the hand which is not on the tree slowly moves up to the centre of his chest, just to the left, where his heart is. "He got hurt because I couldn't protect him…Why am I such a fucking screw up?!" His voice gets louder and louder until he yells the last bit, hating himself.

Suddenly, his sword is unsheathed, the black blade whispering for Sasuke's blood. Instead of holding the sword outwards, it is turned inwards; point just touching his throat, his arms are stretched out completely to hold Shibien in place.

Sasuke's golden cat-like eyes close and instantly he can see the beauty of the forest in his inner eye. The sunlight is streaming down through cracks in the canopy, causing golden particles to gently float in the warm breeze. The darker patches of the forest are filled with plants, trees and flowers.

Standing just a few feet in front of the boy is Sanada Yukimura. One hand is lost in his silky black hair, pushing it off his face, while his other hand has a string looped around it and the string leads to the ever present sake bottle.

Letting out a breath, Yukimura would gently place both hands upon Sasuke's and caringly lower the sword away from the boy's neck to point into the moist, fern covered ground.

But it was just his inner eye.

"Yukimura would never do that. Why would he waste it on someone - no, some**thing** like me? After all, I'm just a failed Mibu Clan experiment." He mutters bitterly, Shibien falling from his grasp, accidentally slashing open his right leg as it touches the ground.

In the silence of the forest, Sasuke just stares at the new blood that flows from the wound.

The warm breeze that is winding its way through the trees does nothing to stop the tiny tremors that suddenly appear, wracking the young boy's frame.

As more of the ruby liquid runs down his leg like molten lava, Sasuke just watches it, distantly wondering how long it will take before he passes out from blood-loss.

_'__Not that anyone will really care.__'_He thinks, gently letting his body to completely slump onto the forest ground. 'This probably has never happened before…A Jyuuyuushi just walking away without permission.' Then another though strikes him. _'__I wonder if he__'__ll punish me__…'_

Sasuke blinks a few times, trying to clear the blurriness that has taken over his vision. _'__I__'__m sure __Shindara__ - the old Sarutobi Sasuke never acted like this.__'_

He freezes completely. The former Sarutobi Sasuke, now called Shindara and former servant of Nobunaga.

The one who abandoned Yukimura.

After a full two minutes of lying frozen on the ground, Sasuke half twists so that his upper-body and head are pressing down into the ground. He exhales sharply as some dirt gets into wounds before he mumbles, "At least he was a better Jyuuyuushi…When he was one." He sighs slowly, letting his body completely relax into the ground. "I-" he tries to speak, but nothing comes out. Closing his mouth, he blinks a few more times, aware that the edges of his vision has turned black.

_'__Could be worse that I thought__…_' He smiles almost happily as oh-so-slowly the burning pain from his wounds turn to sharp pricks of ice. _'__I failed this time__…__Didn__'__t I, Yukimura?__'_ Sasuke thinks, wishing his master was here. _'__If Saizo hadn__'__t been there__…__Then, Yukimura could have__…__No. He is stronger than that.__'_

Do not go down there. Do not think about what could have happened.

Do not.

_'__Yukimura__'__s alive and probably in his room, drunk and surrounded by bottles of sake.__'_ Sasuke's starts to laugh, but it almost instantly turns into a hacking cough, and the moss in front of him turns a brown-y red colour, due to the amount of blood he coughed up.

_'__That must have been from the blow to the face__…'_Sasuke muses as he swallows the coppery tasting liquid, his vision finally almost completely fading. '_Yukimura wouldn__'__t want a screw up like me around anyway.__'_ "After all, you can always just find another Sarutobi Sasuke, can't you?" His voice is soft and quiet. Not because he wants it to be, but because he cannot manage anything louder.

"How many Sasuke's will there be? Yukimura? It doesn't matter though. All Jyuuyuushi have a duty to protect you… And -" He has to stop as another horrifying coughing fit rattles him. Both hands are covering his mouth, as if to try hold the blood in. "A-And" He continues shakily, still talking as if Yukimura was in front of him. "If we can't protect you, then what purpose do we serve?" As the last of his consciousness fades, he manages to whisper, "What would you w-want with a useless failed experiment like me, Yukimura? Love is something given to other humans. Not things…"

And then there is silence in the forest as the sun happily shines down upon all the life in the trees and the warm breeze dances with almost a carefree nature, swirling around with a few strands of white hair on an unmoving boy.

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_So this is 'Love is For Humans, Not Things' Point 2._**

**_Basically, it's the exactly same story line, but I've gone through and tried to correct spelling mistakes and grammar,_**

**_HOWEVER,_**

**_I have removed KOTAROU from this story completely. This is set now, totally in the manga, and Kotarou Died._**


	2. Chapter Two: Sake and Bandages

_Chapter Two._

_ Sake and Bandages _

Sasuke suddenly wakes - his eyes stay closed as he immediately senses a presence close to him. In his waking disorientation his first reaction is to grab his sword which he can feel by his side an roll forwards. He comes out with his right knee on the floor and his left foot flat.

Both of his hands are pulled back on the right side, Shibien pointing towards the presence.

All of this happens in half a second and in the other half Sasuke throws all of his body into the lunge, his sword shooting forward at breakneck speed.

The last thing Sasuke expects to happen is to be engulfed from behind in a welcome, if not startling warmth.

The person behind the stricken youth smells strongly of sake and something else that Sasuke cannot place.

His breathing jumping, Sasuke freezes when he feels warm breath being blown onto the back of his neck. "Y-Yu-Yukimura!" Sasuke's astounded voice is still shaky. "Yukimura!" More firm now, but still astounded. "I could have hurt you!" He pushes away from the alluring heat, when the pain from his little exercise catches up with him. It flares up with such force that he drops to his knees, his arms crossed against his stomach and his cry of pain is nothing more than a gasp.

Almost instantly the warmth that is Yukimura has surrounded him again as Yukimura picks up his subordinate and carries him over to the futon in the middle of the room.

"Sasuke, you really should be more careful. It seems like you are getting wounded a lot now." His voice is seemingly happy, but his eyes show the opposite. They are full of concern and worry for his Sarutobi. "Just lie still - You don't want to hurt yourself more, do you?" Yukimura is oblivious to the fact that every word he says reinforces Sasuke's belief that he is a failure. The chiding tone they are delivered in are worse than any of Sasuke's wounds.

'_A failure.__'_He thinks angrily as he is carefully laid down and has the blankets drawn up over his abused body. If Sasuke's mind was not so full of thoughts of failure, he would describe Yukimura as 'fussing like a mother hen'.

But right now Sasuke just wants to lash out and hit something, but with Yukimura still there he keeps his outburst to himself.

Frowning, Yukimura picks up Shibien and places it by Sasuke's side, his intuition telling him that something is not quite right.

Yukimura resumes his position to the left of Sasuke, watching his charge.

After about ten minutes it appears that Sasuke has fallen asleep and then does Yukimura reach for his sake bottle. After having a few sips, he puts his dish down and sighs. "What were you doing out there, Sasuke? You left after we got close to this place."

Almost as if in response, the boy lets out a faint moan.

Slightly surprised, Yukimura shifts uncomfortably, not liking the amount of pain he could hear in the sound.

"You should more careful. You…**All **of the Jyuuyuushi are important to me." Yukimura sighs again and looks at his sake bottle and then to Sasuke. Running a hand through his already tussled hair, he stands up and walks to stand over the prone figure.

"Yuki…mura…" Sasuke mumbles and then his face scrunches in pain and his breathing hitches.

Something inside of Yukimura twists and leaves a tingling wake.

He refuses to think why and decides that it is just because such a young boy is in pain.

Defiantly not because it is Sasuke.

Defiantly not.

With a soft sigh, Yukimura sits down Indian-style by the futon.

As he settles into his position, the room is deathly silent, only with the soft, rhythmic from Yukimura, and that is when he realises that he can only hear himself breathing.

He quickly leans over the boy and holds his ear over Sasuke's mouth, panic building.

Yukimura let's out a sigh of relief as he can feel the soft 'huffing' of Sasuke's breath on his ear.

His panic disappearing, he rocks back to his sitting position a tiny smile appearing on his face as he watches Sasuke sleep.

'_He would look peaceful, if not for the pained look.__'_Yukimura muses, using his right hand to prop up his head as he stares at Sasuke.

Finally, Yukimura grabs his sake.

Two hours and three bottles of sake later, Yukimura is drunk. Not so drunk that he is incoherent, but drunk enough to try and hug anyone who comes near him.

It is a different matter if someone tries to go near Sasuke, however.

When Kosuke entered the room, she was immediately glomped as a very merry Yukimura laid his head on the top of hers.

The surprised Jyuuyuushi let out a small squeak before she exclaimed "Yukimura-Sama!"

"Haaaaiiiii?" He grinned and finally got of her back, taking his seat by the futon again.

"I need to change Sasuke-san's bandages." She said, moving toward the still-asleep boy.

Yukimura stopped grinning when the blankets were removed to reveal the bare chest covered in bandages.

And blood.

Most of the bandages had blood seeping through and that alone made Yukimura feel sober.

Sasuke still had his shorts, but both legs were covered in more bandages and they were especially built up around the accidental wound from Shibien.

The lack of the blanket must have registered with Sasuke's brain because he squirmed and sighed softly.

That settled it for Yukimura. As Kosuke reached down to start removing the bandages, Yukimura's hand shot out to grab hers in a voice-like grip.

"I would like some more sake, please." He asked in a controlled voice.

She opened her mouth, to protest, but closed it before she said anything.

"Right away, Yukimura-Sama."

Kosuke bowed and places all of the medical equipment by the side of the futon and quickly went to the door. "I'll leave your sake outside."

After she had gone, Yukimura looked at Sasuke, then to the equipment. He sighed and though, _'__Shouldn__'__t have sent Kosuke away. She can do this better than me.__'_

He sighed again and picked up the scissors and started to cut away the bandages.

After that, on one decided to interrupt Yukimura and some of the other Jyuuyuushi had to restrain Saizo from bursting into the room to 'help'.

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Two_**

**_I won't actually say much in these notes, unless I think there's something important changed in the chapter._**


	3. Chapter Three: Just Another Jyuuyuushi

_Chapter Three_

_ Just Another Jyuuyuushi _

"Come on Sasuke! Just have some of it!" Yukimura realises despairingly that his plan is not working. "…It's really tasty?" He ventures, but the youth just turns his head away and his eyes close slightly.

Frowning, Yukimura stands up from the table and walks around to where Sasuke is sitting.

"You really should eat something." He says carefully, just missing the minute flinch from the word 'something'.

Even though Yukimura's voice is careful, it still commands Sasuke to something.

Almost hesitantly, Sasuke reaches out to pick up his origin and takes a bite out of it. Without chewing, he swallows and takes a sip of his tea.

As the other Jyuuyuushi exchange worried glances, Yukimura just, with a massive (fake) grin on his face, shoves the origin into the mouth of his strongest Jyuuyuushi.

Now normally this would end with a light-hearted argument between the completely innocent looking Sanada Yukimura and the furious Sarutobi Sasuke.

Normally.

This is a common meal-time tradition, so Yukimura is expecting Sasuke to fight back - Or do something - So when Sasuke does nothing, he is thrown to the ground.

In the disbelieving silence, some of the Jyuuyuushi are half waiting for Sasuke to snap and yell, but all that happens is that Sasuke carefully rolls onto his stomach and pushes himself up, his wounds screaming in agony.

"If you will excuse me." his voice is quiet and his eyes are hidden with shadows. He makes to moves towards the door, but an arm restrains him;

the now familiar warmth of Yukimura is pressed against Sasuke.

"Sasuke." The hot breath on the back of his ear sends shivers down Sasuke's back. "I think you should eat someth-"

"I'm fine." Sasuke abruptly says before Yukimura can say the **'****T****'**word again.

Yukimura smiles slightly "I'm sure you are, Sasuke. But I think I'm right in saying that you haven't eaten in almost three days."

Sasuke looks to the side, trying to keep his heartbeat slow and normal, instead of the horrible fluttering it is now. "There's nothing to worry about - Yukimura…Sama."

Frowning, said man just watches as possibly his most important person walks away.

The other Jyuuyuushi shift nervously, as all they saw of the exchange was Sasuke walk away.

Cautiously, Saizo ventures a "Yukimura-Sama?" After their Lord has not moved in five minutes.

Snapping back into reality, Yukimura blinks at his Family Guards and then, with a curious expression on his face, he asks, "Does anyone know where Sasuke will have gone?"

They mostly all shake their heads, however Saizo looks distressed.

"Saizo…" Yukimura says dangerously.

Finally Saizo makes his decision. "He'll be in the forest…By the old upturned tree where you and Sasuke trained once, Yukimura-Sama!" He blurts, obviously distressed at having to make a decision between a promise to Sasuke and his vows to Yukimura.

-

The sun beat down onto the former inhabitant of the Aokigahara unmercifully.

Sasuke stumbles slightly and instantly looks for the tree root to blame.

On finding none, he curses his weakness and presses onward, determined to reach his favourite spot; a place where Sasuke used to train with Yukimura.

The large tree had been uprooted during a fight and the massive root system is on show for all to see. A giant cavity was left where the roots should be and no doubt some animal has claimed it as it's home.

Using a final burst of energy, Sasuke manages to jump to the top of the twelve foot skyward root.

Gasping in pain as a few of his lesser wounds reopen, Sasuke collapses onto the moss gratefully.

As he stares at the vibrant dark green canopy above him, Sasuke wonders why he has the urge to stab Shibien through his heart whenever Yukimura comes within his personal space.

As his eyes close, he gets lost in his memories of happy times - Sasuke and Yukimura fighting together, completely outnumbered

- Yukimura trying to glomp a protesting Sasuke

- All of the Jyuuyuushi sitting around a campfire with Yukimura, all laughing at Saizo's expense (as usual)

- Yukimura gently placing a hand on Sasuke's head, telling him that he's done enough.

- The look of fury on Yukimura's face while he was telling Sasuke never to sacrifice himself for Yukimura's sake again.

- The sword biting into Yukimura's arm as Sasuke watches helplessly, pinned to the floor by another attacker.

- The blood - **Yukimura****'****s **blood, staining his own clothes.

- A dark fog enveloping the whole area.

- The screams of the dying ending abruptly as someone puts them out of their pain.

The desperate clawing of self despair that blooms in Sasuke's gut as he remembers how he failed Yukimura - The most important person Sasuke has.

"Why do you keep running away, Sasuke?"

Startled, Sasuke turns to see the one person he really does not want to. "Y-Yukimura!" Sasuke's heart flutters oddly when he sees Yukimura's grinning face.

Yukimura cocks his head to one side and even though he is smiling, there is an air of cold seriousness emitting from him.

"Ne, Sasuke?"

Rather than answering, which is what Yukimura expects, Sasuke just starts to say something - but changes his mind and just sighs, turning away.

The smile slips and Yukimura starts to frown. "Sasuke, what's wrong? Ever since the battle four days ago, you've been so cold towards me."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why do you care, Sanada Yukimura? I mean, I am just a Jyuuyuushi, someone who is expected to fight for you…and by your side, if you so wish." Sasuke says harshly, not even sure himself why he is finally saying these things. "I never could understand why you decided to take me in from Aokigahara in the first place. It's not like you had to. After all, I'm sure that you know that most if the things in Aokigahara are failed Mibu experiments."

Shocked, Yukimura watches stunned into helplessness as Sasuke's voice turns bitter, the boy still refusing to look at his master. "S-Sasuke…"

Finally realising how he sounds, Sasuke stops, in the middle of his sentence about Yukimura 'probably being drunk at the time'.

Sasuke coughs, quite violently and hangs his head as Yukimura gently loops an arm around the young boy, pulling him close.

"You looked like you were about to cry." Yukimura says distantly.

'_So you were pitying me. You didn't take me in because you really care__…__You took me in because you were drunk and took pity on a beaten up child.__'_Sasuke thinks bitterly, wishing that he could reach out and stab 'Shibien' through his fluttering heart.

But Sasuke says nothing, so Yukimura says nothing, although Yukimura is incredibly disturbed by his Sasuke's outburst.

The pair stay sitting like that well past sunset, both lost in their own completely different worlds, basically ignoring their beautiful surroundings.

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Three_**


	4. Chapter Four: Ledges and Butterfies

_Chapter Four_

_ Ledges and Butterflies _

Yukimura's hair is flying forward into his face, which is why his hand is lost in the hair, trying to hold at least some out of the way.

His six mon crest coat is carefully folded and placed on a rock as Yukimura stands a few feet in front of it, admiring the view.

The view being a massive flat cliff ledge by the side of a ridge of a mountain. Upon the flat ground there is a naturally formed lake which contrasts beautifully with the lush, but slightly faded green grass.

The same wind which is troubling Yukimura is giving the illusion that the grass is the water and the water seems to be strangely unaffected.

Opposite to where Yukimura is standing, across the lake, there is the ridge. A sheer straight rock face that extends up into the low fog-like clouds. Despite the grey clouds that hang over the ridge, the ledge is under beautiful clear skies.

There is a small dish of sake next to his coat and a full bottle just behind the rock.

The man sighs softly, something that is instantly snatched away by the wind, not giving the other person there any warning before his previously stationary Lord abruptly and walks to the log next to the rock.

"Yukimura-Sama…" Saizo starts, but is cut off by Yukimura.

"The Tokugawa troops will move to surround one of my favourite tea houses soon." As he talks, his hand absentmindedly finds his sake, and once he has finished speaking, he tips the small amount of into his throat.

"Y-Yes…" Saizo shifts uncomfortably, "Yukimura-Sama, if I may say so, a small group of the Jyuuyuushi would be the best way to -"

"You, Sasuke and I will go a week tomorrow to kill them." Yukimura says over Saizo.

Saizo shifts incredibly uncomfortable, "Is it…wise to allow Sasuke to fight? He is still wounded from the last battle."

Yukimura turns to face Saizo, who immediately averts his eyes. "Saizo, is there something you're not saying about Sasuke?"

"Uh…" Saizo makes a distressed sound.

"**Saizo**."

"Yes, Yukimura-Sama. But Yukimura-Sama, I promised Sasuke that I would tell no one."

Yukimura leans back and stares at the beautiful sky. "A promise - huh? Well…" He suddenly leans forwards, "Will you tell me?"

Making another distressed sound, Saizo twitches slightly.

"No?" Yukimura pulls a sad face and takes another sip of his sake. "Well, I guess that I'm just going to have to figure it out, ne? Can you go and get Sasuke for me?"

Saizo frowns, "But Yukimura-Sama, there wont be any Jyuuyuushi here!"

Yukimura shrugs slowly and pours himself another sake. "So there wont. Oh well - I wanna talk to Sasuke out here."

Saizo bows and has disappeared in a flash.

Yukimura sighs and idly sips his sake, letting his head fall back so that he can stare at he sky again. "I wonder what he's doing now." He muses, watching a butterfly struggling in the wind. "I hope he isn't training. With his wounds he shouldn't even be out of bed."

Yukimura smiles as he remembers yesterday - sitting in the forest together.

After Sasuke's outburst.

Now **that** has been troubling Yukimura_. __'__He was talking about when I first found him__…'_

The unstoppable flash of memories barrages Yukimura.

_A young Sasuke collapsed on the soaked ground, beaten and almost in tears. _

"_Do you need help? Do you need__…__my help?__"_

"I wasn't drunk. And I never have regretted taking him in." Yukimura starts to pour himself another dish of sake, but finds, to his dismay that his bottle is empty. Sighing in annoyance, Yukimura sticks his hand in his hair again and uses the other to brace himself against the log.

"But I'm still slightly worried. He really hasn't been himself since that fight. He's hardly eaten and he really does spend most of his time in the forest."

Closing his eyes, Yukimura smiles slightly. "But then, he's a teenager now. Maybe it's just mood swings."

Thirteen.

Sasuke is getting older and a small part of Yukimura cannot wait for the teenager's sixteenth birthday, but the rest of him refuses to think why.

That is also the part that wakes Yukimura up at one o'clock with dreams that leave Yukimura flushed and panting.

The part that Yukimura tends to just ignore that part as much as possible.

Yukimura is brought out of his musings by two presences baring down upon him - Both recognisable - Sasuke and Saizo.

His smile grows and Yukimura holds his empty sake bottle out and waits for his Jyuuyuushi.

"Saizo, I need some more sake please!" He says, as soon as Saizo is in hearing range.

With a sigh, the dejected Saizo takes the bottle and Sasuke cannot help but feel some-what sorry for the poor guy.

"Sasuke!" Yukimura exclaims, throwing his arms out to envelop the teenager in a crushing hug, completely forgetting that even though Sasuke's bandages have been removed, his wounds still hurt.

Wincing, Sasuke does not say anything as pain shoots through his body. He does not say anything because he secretly enjoys the warmth that is Sanada Yukimura.

After a second, Sasuke starts to try to push away, realising that he has been too silent. "Yukimura! Let go!" He protests and it sounds convincing.

Frowning playfully, Yukimura releases Sasuke, who starts in front of Yukimura, eyeing the empty sake bottle, and then looking around for anymore.

"I'm not drunk Sasuke, and that's the only bottle." Yukimura says softly, wishing that Sasuke would have more faith in him…and that Sasuke would actually look at him.

Sasuke nods once and pulls out his ken-dama and the familiar sound of the wooden ball hitting the equally wooden main part of the ken-dama fills the silence.

After a few moments of listening to the 'klack', Yukimura gestures for Sasuke to sit next to him.

Hesitantly, Sasuke sits, still playing with his ken-dama. Finally he says, "Saizo says that you wanted to talk to me."

Nodding, Yukimura turns to him, completely serious. "I am planning a counter attack on the Tokugawa troops. Only three of use will go - Saizo, myself and you. But I need to know that you will be able to fight - That your wounds are not too bad. A week tomorrow we will go. If you can."

The ken-dama falls silent as Sasuke looks at Yukimura angrily. "I'm fine! I can fight."

Furious at the suggestion that he might bot be able to fight, Sasuke springs to his feet and walks a few metres away, his mood defusing into sadness as his brain produces the notion that Yukimura thinks that Sasuke is too weak…A failure.

It is shocking how fast Sasuke's brain can suddenly send him into a depressed state.

Yukimura watches as Sasuke seems to slump where he is standing, as if there is an incredibly weight forcing him down.

"Well that's fine then! We wouldn't be able to do this if you couldn't fight!" Yukimura says cheerfully, trying to disperse the gloomy atmosphere.

Half turning, Sasuke looks back, not quite sure if he heard properly. "Wha…?"

"We need you. No - I need you."

"You **what**?" Sasuke says in a disbelieving voice, fully turning towards Yukimura.

Grinning, Yukimura leans forwards, his arms propping his head up. "I - Need - You." He stands after a second of silence, not sure why Sasuke is staring at him in that disbelieving way.

Sasuke opens his mouth to speak, but then closes it again as they both feel Saizo approaching and the ken-dama starts to klack again.

"Thank you Saizo!" Yukimura calls. Grabbing the sake bottle, he throws an arm around Saizo, who looks very uncomfortable in his current position. "And in one weeks time, we shall attack the Tokugawa troops together!"

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Four_**


	5. Chapter Five: Fever

_Chapter 5_

_ Fever _

Sasuke removes the last of his bandages carefully from his right leg, looking down at the small but long scabbed line that was once the accidental wound from Shibien. He lets the bandages form a small pile on the floor and then he pulls on his green socks and is putting on his shoes when Saizo appears.

"I think that you should tell Yukimura-Sama." Saizo says in a stern voice, annoyed when the teenager does not even look up. "Sasuke! You are in no condition to fight!"

Finally Sasuke looks towards Saizo and he can see that the fever is still burning strongly inside of Sasuke.

The day after Yukimura told Sasuke that he would accompany him in the battle, Sasuke got a fever.

It had started as just a headache, but after a few hours, the headache was a migraine and then the nausea had set in.

Within twenty-four hours, Sasuke had started to burn and yet, he told Saizo that he felt like he was swimming in a frozen lake, he was so cold.

But Sasuke seemed (and still does) to think that by telling Yukimura, he would be letting his master down, so Sasuke had continued his normal routines as much as possible, however he would only train in the forest, away from the prying eyes of Sanada Yukimura or any of the other Jyuuyuushi.

Only then could he collapse from exhaustion and put himself at the mercy of his illness.

And that is how Saizo found out.

After two days of attempting normal life, Sasuke had passed out at his training grounds in the woods.

A couple of hours later, Saizo had come looking for him to tell Sasuke that Kosuke needed to check his nearly healed wounds.

"_Sasuke? Sasuke!__"__ Saizo called, looking around, knowing that he got the right place due to the freshly burnt trees and destroyed surroundings. __"__Sasuke!__"__ He called one last time before he turned to leave, assuming that Sasuke had already left._

_As he walked away, out of the corner of his eye he saw what looked like the black blade of __'__Shibien__'__.. Saizo walked over to the area and pushed away the bracken to reveal a small clearing._

_By his foot Shibien__had been left and a couple of metres away was Sasuke__'__s unconscious form._

_Shocked, Saizo bended down to check the teenager__'__s breathing, but recoils as soon as his hands touch Sasuke__'__s skin._

_The teenager was baring an incredibly high temperature, one that Saizo could only relate to the heart of an out of control fire._

_Not knowing what else to do, Saizo gently lifted Sasuke__'__s head and poured a tiny amount of the __'__emergency__'__ sake all of the Jyuuyuushi have to carry, into Sasuke__'__s mouth. (1)_

_He was instantly rewarded with Sasuke waking up, but Sasuke woke up coughing. His bitter voice croaked __"__What the hell was that stuff?__"_

"_Sake, now, why are you out here with a fever?__"__ Saizo said, taking off his scarf and resting Sasuke__'__s head on it._

_Saizo expected Sasuke to comment on his fussing, but Sasuke just closed his eyes and relaxed into the ground. __"__Mmm__…"__ His breathing was deep and slow._

_Saizo reached out and touched Sasuke on the shoulder, but when he did not respond, Saizo sighed._

"I'm fine Saizo." Sasuke says standing up slowly, thanking the heavens that no dizzy spells have been troubling him lately.

Sasuke lifts Shibien and sheaves the sword, taking a small step to start, but after he is sure that his legs will not give out, he strides forward to join Yukimura, leaving Saizo to follow behind.

-

"Sasuke, we're fighting to protect this place! Please don't destroy it! Too much!" Yukimura calls out jokingly, his sword slashing down a Tokugawa soldier.

The reason why he called out that was because Sasuke had thrown his opponent through a rice wall, completely destroying that wall.

Sasuke's only reply is a small snort, which quickly turns to a gasp that Sasuke hides. The pressure that has been building in his head suddenly disappears, leaving him incredibly dizzy and nauseous. Gritting his teeth Sasuke keeps his mantra running through his head. 'I will not fail Yukimura again. I will not fail Yukimura again.'

Sasuke battles on grimly through his dizzy-spell, breaking the mantra to think _'__God why now?!__'_Furiously, his grip on Shibien tightens so much that his hands begin to shake. _'__Why can__'__t it go away so that I can actually see properly and then I can beat this guy! I just need -__'_He just dodges a blow that would have been fatal.

'_I just need to - __'_His block is not quite high enough and a shallow cut appears on his head.

'_I just need to get my balance - !__'_

His opponent - A massive Tokugawa soldier can see the Jyuuyuushi he is fighting obviously is not quite…well.

First off, the Jyuuyuushi had started to sway slightly and the his speed fell…The young boy's eyes kept un-focusing and the Tokugawa soldier was ecstatic.

'_Damn it! Why now?! I can barely stand!__'_Sasuke growls angrily, blood seeping down his face, causing him to have to close his left eye to protect it from the stinging blood.

With a loud cry, Sasuke's opponent throws himself toward Sasuke, the soldier's shoulder slamming into the youth's sternum, feeling the bone crack under the impact, while the soldier's sword buries itself deep within Sasuke's middle.

The force of the attack sends Sasuke flying backwards, straight into a massive old tree.

Sasuke's head smashes into the trunk, instantly splitting his head open, blood flowing in torrents from the broken boy.

The last thing Sasuke saw before he hit the tree was the leering form of his attacker - and then - nothing.

* * *

(1) Yes...The emergency sake was Yukimura's idea. He decided that instead of running out of sake, he would give each Jyuuyuushi an 'emergency' bottle of sake. Of course Sasuke refused.

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Five_**


	6. Chapter 6:Blindness is Not Something Fun

_Chapter Six_

_- - Blindness is Not Something a Thirteen-Year Old Should Have to Deal With - -_

Blindness isn't something that Sasuke thought that he would ever have to deal with. Well, if you think about it, why would he?

A young boy - just turned 13, perfect (well, apart from the concussion and gaping wound in his stomach and the fever…) health, great physical strength.

And yet, Sasuke finds himself staring at the ceiling, or at least, he thinks it is the ceiling. But all he can…see…is just like having his eyes closed.

The teenager rolls his head around, wondering if it is just dark out…but when he turns his head in a certain way, an almost orange colour taints his vision…As if he is looking towards the sun.

Sasuke sighs, half wishing that it is a dream and that he really has not gone blind, but the (oh the irony) blinding pain from his stomach makes him think otherwise.

"S-Sasuke?" Saizo's voice is instantly recognisable, and Sasuke's head automatically snaps around to where Saizo should be.

"Sasuke, you're awake?" Saizo asks, getting to his feet, unaware that Sasuke cannot see.

Sasuke blinks, but only because he has to. Blinking does nothing for his sight; no change in the colour that he can see. "Yeah, I'm'wake." Sasuke's voice is slurred and horse. He closes his eyes - at least, he thinks he does - and rests his head in his hands. "Mi'head…"

"Here." Saizo places a glass of water in front of Sasuke, but frowns when his friend makes no move to take it. "Sasuke…? Don't you want the water?"

Sasuke's head turns sharply to look towards Saizo, and said man notices that Sasuke's eyes are very wide.

"Uh…Yeah. Just give me a minute…" Sasuke whispers, closing his eyes and he gently lays back down on his futon.

Saizo looks suspiciously at Sasuke, who has his eyes open again, but they really do not seem to be looking at anything. "Are you okay, Sasuke?"

"Aaa…" Sasuke mumbles in answer.

Hesitantly, Saizo looks towards the door and then back to the futon. "I have to go and tell Yukimura-Sama that you're awake."

Nodding, Sasuke's hand inches out of the covers and feel around for the glass of water. Saizo frowns again, instantly curious for why Sasuke did not go straight for the water.

Once Saizo's presence has completely disappeared, Sasuke rolls onto his stomach to search frantically for the glass of water, as a massive pressure starts to build in his chest - a sure sign of coughing fit.

His breathing hitches and suddenly he starts to make tiny, almost squeaking sounds, Sasuke forfeits his search for the water to press one hand to his chest and the other to cover his mouth as the full blown coughing attack lands upon the poor teenager's still wounded body.

The combined pain from the coughing and the now re-opened wounds completely dulls Sasuke's other senses, so when he suddenly feels someone removing his hand and placing the rim of the glass water to Sasuke's lips, another hand being placed on Sasuke's back.

A million things raced through Yukimura's mind when he first saw Sasuke curling up, a horrible cough racking his entire frame. As he burst into the room, the first thing he did was to grab the glass of water and support Sasuke, who was oblivious to Yukimura's presence until Yukimura had actually touched the teenager.

"Y-Yukimura?" Sasuke says weakly, a few minutes after his coughing has died down.

Smiling brightly to hide his worry, Yukimura switches the position of his hand, so that his arm is around Sasuke's shoulders, drawing the boy close. "Glad to see you're awake Sasuke-kun!"

Letting out a gasp of pain, Sasuke's hands fly to his fractured sternum which Yukimura has managed to disturb.

And of course that is when he notices that stinging numbness in his middle.

If Sasuke was able to see, he would see that the bandages that are covering his abdomen are slowly turning a dark red.

Yukimura only realises that something is wrong when the precious teenager slumps in his arms and Sasuke's blood seeps onto Yukimura.

Before he can even open his mouth to call of Kosuke, she is there, pulling out her medical equipment as Yukimura lays the now-unconscious teenager on the futon.

As she tends to Sasuke, Yukimura looks in morbid fascination at the blood on his hands.

Blood is something that Yukimura is used to - He is a samurai, a great warrior…Someone who enjoys fighting. Blood and death are just parts of his normal life and yet…

This blood scares Yukimura.

He makes no move to get rid of it, but just watches as it slowly starts to form rivulets down his arm. He bends his index and middle fingers slightly, still looking at the blood that covers them. This blood…This blood should never been seen. If he can see this blood, then Sasuke has been hurt.

And Sasuke should not be hurt.

Finally he rejoins reality suddenly and grabs Saizo by the shoulder.

"Yukimura-Sama I -"

"How long?" In a barley controlled anger, Yukimura's grip on Saizo's shoulder turns painful. "How long have you known?"

His eyes falling, in a quiet voice, Saizo says, "Just under a week Yukimura-Sama. His fever started the day after you informed him of the battle plans."

The pressure increases on Saizo's shoulder as Yukimura asks, "Why did you not tell me - Or Kosuke?"

Gasping in pain, Saizo's knees buckle slightly under the pain. "I promised Sasuke that I would tell no one. He assured me that he would tell you after the battle."

Finally Yukimura lets go and turns away, leaving Saizo to sink to a knee, waiting for anymore of Yukimura's questions.

"And before?"

The question is so sudden that Saizo misses it. "Yukimura-Sama?"

Turning back, Saizo can see the tiredness sprawled across his master's face. "What else have you been keeping from me about Sasuke's health?"

A wave of sadness washes through Saizo as he thinks about the once happy Sasuke.

There was a time when Sasuke had been completely happy. He finally had people he could call a family: the Jyuuyuushi their master, Sanada Yukimura. He had friends: Kage Bunshin Benitora, Shiina Yuya, Onime No Kyo (No matter what he says, he is still a friend), Mibu Kyoshiro, Akira and Hotaru…

Sasuke had a home.

When Yukimura first brought back the young Aokigahara kid, Saizo was unfair on Sasuke. Saizo will admit that now. He thought that he was above the kid, but when he actually took time (well, more like, When Yukimura commanded him too look after Sasuke while he was sick) to get to know Sasuke, Saizo found that Sasuke was a normal child.

Saizo took it upon himself to be the unofficial 'big-brother' of Sasuke and the more they talked and fought together, the closer they became.

Sasuke might act like he does not care that much older Jyuuyuushi at times, but Saizo knows Sasuke. He knows that the teenager will act like he does not care because he does not want to seem weak. And for some strange reason, Sasuke seems to think that forming bonds - Making friends and family - Is a weakness.

As much as Sasuke tries, no one can live alone, especially not if you are a Sanada Jyuuyuushi.

-

Yukimura notices that for once, Saizo has not answered his question, and in fact, Saizo does not seem to even be paying attention to Yukimura.

Frowning slightly, Yukimura decides to allow Saizo his thinking time, figuring that he will get his answer sooner-or-later.

Letting his eyes stray from Saizo, Yukimura finds himself watching Kosuke carefully removing the remaining of Sasuke's blood-soaked bandages to reveal the gaping stab wound in Sasuke's stomach. It is a deep wound; the sword nearly went all the way through.

Shuddering, Yukimura recalls what happened just over a day ago.

_-_

_Yukimura swung his sword and clavered the unlucky Tokugawa soldier in half, his blood splattered onto the floor in front of the grinning samurai._

_Turning, Yukimura quickly checked on how Sasuke was doing and watched in horror as, with a loud cry, a massive soldier threw himself at Sasuke._

_The soldier__'__s shoulder slammed into the youth__'__s sternum, while his sword buried itself deep within Sasuke__'__s middle._

_The force of the attack sent Sasuke flying backwards, straight into tree, which caused Sasuke__'__s head to split open._

_Yukimura yelled Sasuke__'__s name in terror and with an inhuman burst of speed he was standing over the fallen teenager__'__s body, his sword already slicing into the neck of the Tokugawa soldier who dared to hurt his Sasuke._

"_Yukimura-Sama!__"__ Saizo yelled, appearing behind his Lord as another head joined the many on the floor. __"__What should we do?__"_

_Yukimura said nothing; a deathly calm had settled over the Sanada. The only response Saizo got was that Yukimura__'__s sword was lifted and his other hand was placed onto the hilt. _

_Then, still silent, Yukimura went berserk._

_The remaining Tokugawa soldiers fell before his blade which reeked a bloody and destructive path. _

_Saizo gently lifted the unconscious Sasuke onto his back and watched fearfully as Yukimura slaughtered the Tokugawa soldiers._

_Only when ever single soldier was dead did Yukimura stop and his blood rage seemed to lift, as he stared at the broken teenager._

-

"Yukimura-Sama, Sasuke has been going through a minor depression for….a while now." Saizo finally murmurs, jolting Yukimura out of his memories.

Yukimura is speechless. "Sasuke's going through…What?" His hand has come up to his brow, and he closes his eyes, trying to understand the idea of Sasuke being in a depression.

"Ever since Kotaro died, Sasuke has been more withdrawn. He hasn't talked as much. It's just been steadily getting worse after each battle." Kosuke says, standing up, drawing the blankets over Sasuke's body.

Yukimura turns to her. "What? You knew?"

She looks away and murmurs "Yukimura-Sama, you must have noticed his odd behaviour."

Nodding, Yukimura looks at the teenager. "You may go."

Confused by the sudden change, Kosuke takes a step toward Yukimura. "U-Uh, I - "

"You may go. Wait - " As both of the Jyuuyuushi move toward the door, Yukimura stops them. "Sake. Lots of sake."

With a small sigh, both Saizo and Kosuke hand over their emergency sake bottles and bow, knowing not to say anything while the master is in this state.

-

'_I__'__m still blind.__'_Is Sasuke's first thought as he wakes from his unconsciousness.

His second thought is about how painful his stomach is.

Then, the sound of snoring reaches Sasuke's ears as then he realises that the reason he is in so much pain is because something is putting weight onto his wound.

Half sitting up, Sasuke wishes that he could see **what** is on him. Finally, the strong smell of sake pierces his still foggy brain and suddenly everything becomes clear.

Yukimura got completely smashed and passed out onto of Sasuke.

Sighing, Sasuke flops back onto the futon, raising his hands to press into his eye sockets.

"I failed again." He hisses. "I wasn't able to do anything!" He sighs dejectedly. "Screw up."

"Shhh…" The words are slurred, but defiantly come from the sleepy and hung over Yukimura. "No 'oud…sh-sunds"

Defiantly hung over.

Sasuke's brain is still sleep-muddled and his senses are not working perfectly, so he misses Kosuke's presence approaching. Luckily, his hands are still covering his eyes, so he does not need to worry about the whole sight thing.

"Sasuke? You're awake?" Her voice is soft and quiet, obviously trying not to wake the sleeping Yukimura.

He nods slightly, not removing his hands.

She sighs slightly and Sasuke has to strain his ears to hear her "I'm going to take Yukimura to his room. It must be uncomfortable for you; having him sprawled across you like that."

Sasuke makes a non-committing sound and sighs slightly as the weight is removed from his middle.

He can just hear Kosuke taking Yukimura out of the room, and then he is left alone again.

At least, Sasuke thinks that he is alone.

The best lurker of the Jyuuyuushi is watching him; Saizo.

Frowning, Saizo wonders why Sasuke has not asked him why he is spying on the teenager.

As he watches, the teenager removes his hands from his eyes and murmurs "I respect Akira even more now...blindness isn't something that is easy to live with..."

Shocked, Saizo leaves the room, after Sasuke says nothing else.

His mind in turmoil, Saizo has trouble thinking. _'__What did he mean__…__? Has he gone blind? No. That__'__s impossible__…__Isn__'__t it?__'_

Suddenly, a young servant comes flying down the corridor, in a complete breakdown.

Grabbing the boy by the shoulder, Saizo instantly asks him what is going on.

"Akira and Hotaru! They've turned up at the gate…Something about killing Tokugawa Soldiers and a message from Kyo!" The servant is so flustered that that is all that Saizo can get from the boy.

"Calm down." He says simple, releasing his grip and standing back. "Yukimura-Sama is asleep, and he wont be up for another few hours at least. I shall deal with Akira and Hotaru myself."

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Six_**


	7. Chapter Seven: Akira, Hotaru and Flowers

_Chapter 7_

_Akira, Hotaru and Flowers _

Saizo sits opposite Akira and Hotaru and there is silence.

Hotaru is sitting slumped, his hands fiddling with pieces of thread and he looks very bored with the entire situation. His red tattoos are nowhere in sight, which is a good thing. Everyone else seems to be ignoring Hotaru and it suits him fine. If they are paying attention to him, then that would mean the he would actually have to make an effort to do…something.

Or pay attention.

Hotaru thinks about these things idly, staring at the ceiling, wondering what room was above them and if it was also quiet in there. Everywhere in this house seems to be quiet and that suits Hotaru perfectly. It means that he can daydream in peace.

It also means that Akira is not telling him off for do something. Or not doing something, which is the case normally. People are always nagging him and when he actually does something…Namely fighting, people interrupt him and try and make him stop.

Hotaru has given up trying to understand any of it and has decided to just let things happen.

Akira, on the other hand, is sitting with his hands in his lap and appears to be meditating.

There is an ear-splitting smash from the room above, which jolts Akira out of his thoughts about what a happenstance it was that Akira and Hotaru had come across Yuya and Kyo (1).

Akira and Hotaru had wanted to go to a new, more quiet city, when they literally walked into Yuya. That had led to an…interesting reunion.

Hotaru had tried to set the place on fire while drunk, which led to Yuya trying shoot Hotaru, which led to Hotaru to try and burn her…And that led Kyo to nearly going ape-shit on Hotaru. All this time, Akira just drank his tea, listening to the commotion.

But luckily there was an even bigger commotion outside. News had spreading like wildfire about a new battle between the Sanada Jyuuyuushi (and possibly Sanada Yukimura himself) and Tokugawa troops.

Furious at the fact that one of his favourite teahouses had been partially destroyed, Kyo had every intention of storming over to Yukimura's place and beating the crap out of him.

Akira sensed a chance to escape, and offered that he and Hotaru took a message to Yukimura. Anything to escape from being massacred by Kyo.

A few muffled curses later, an almost sluggish Yukimura comes down from the upper rooms, a hand in his hair and his eyes just about open.

"Yukimura-San" Akira says politely, nodding his head as the tired Lord sits down just in front of Saizo.

Yukimura blinks a bit and closes his eyes, a desperate attempt at trying to wake up (it normally works for me). "Akira. Hotaru."

Hotaru has not even noticed that Yukimura has entered the room. He just stared at the ceiling. As Yukimura and Akira talk about Kyo and Yuya, Hotaru wonders about why Yukimura has flowers on his kimono.

After giving up on that train of thought, Hotaru thinks that it would be much more interesting trying to figure out how much sake Yukimura would need to drink before he would pass out.

He blinks once, then twice and decides it would be a lot and that the ceiling that he has been staring at is boring.

This is when he realises that the room has fallen silent, so he looks around slowly and realises that all eyes are on him. "Maaa?" he contributes, resting the side of his face on a hand.

Akira's only response is to smile slightly while Yukimura smiles happily at the clueless Shiseiten.

After a brief check, Hotaru realises that Saizo has gone and there is a dish and small bottle of Sake in front of him. Picking up the bottle, he ignores the dish and goes back to daydreaming about flowers while taking random sips of his sake.

-

"Sasuke - Oh!" Kosuke backs into the teenager's room, carrying a tray full of medical equipment, unaware that the teenager already has company.

On either side of his bed are Akira and Hotaru.

Kosuke places the tray down as she says "Sorry - I did not realise that I would be interrupting something."

Kosuke smiles apologetically and Akira shakes his head, making a move to stand, but she stops him with her words. "I was just going to check on his wounds, but Ill come back later. Please - Just, if he starts to cough then please give him this medicine here." She removes a glass from the tray and places it by Akira before leaving.

Nodding, Akira shifts his attention back to the silent Sasuke. The room is quiet for a few moments, before Akira sits back down next to the futon and in a soft voice asks "You've lost your sight."

With a small 'humph' Sasuke frowns slightly and opens his unseeing eyes.

"How did it happen?"

Silence.

And then a soft "I was thrown into a tree."

"Brat." Hotaru mutters, still looking at the ceiling.

Expecting Sasuke to get angry, Hotaru has a half surprised, half bored look at his face when he does not get a reply.

"Sasuke-san?" Akira questions almost inaudibly. "You have gone blind because of the concussion, am I right?"

The boy nods once, then coughs, trying desperately not to fall into a coughing fit.

Akira presses the glass that holds Sasuke's medicine into the teenager's hand and listens to the painful coughs.

Hotaru observes Sasuke's fit with mild interest and watches as the desperately attempts to draw in a large enough breath so that he can down the bitter brown liquid.

He chokes on the medicine and after drinking it he is left breathless and his chest feels tight, but at least Sasuke has stopped coughing.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asks hazardly, a hand pressed to his chest while the other supports him. What are you doing here?"

Hotaru goes back to daydreaming about…something, while Akira moves the glass so that it is beside him again. "We had a message to deliver to Yukimura-san."

Frowning Sasuke looks towards Akira then Hotaru. "Why the hell are you talking to me then? Shouldn't you be talking to Yukimura?"

"We already have." Akira says, frowning minutely at something in Sasuke's voice. Akira cocks his to one side slightly as he tries to ascertain what that emotion is. "It was merely a message from Kyo-Sama informing Yukimura that if anymore of Kyo-Sama's favourite tea houses are destroyed, he will become most melancholic."

If Hotaru was playing attention, he would see that Sasuke is smiling slightly, obviously remembering happy memories.

Akira can sense the faint happiness that irradiating from the teenager and also smiles to some extent. "I take it that you were present at those battles?"

Sasuke says a small 'yes' and he suddenly realises that his eyes feel like lead weights, so he closes them and lays down slowly, careful of his wounds. "Tired." Sasuke mumbles drowsily, a serene look on his face as he lethargically slips into a tranquil sleep.

-

'_If he has gone blind, then he would have mentioned it__…'_Saizo thinks, instantly berating himself for not focusing on his battle.

Part of every Jyuuyuushi's daily routine is to train with a partner for at least an hour. Saizo normally trains with Sasuke, but with the teenager far too ill to even be out of bed, Saizo turned to Jinpachi.

As the two of them trade blows, Saizo cannot help but wonder about Sasuke's eyesight.

'_It would explain why Akira took such an interest in Sasuke…' _Saizo is abruptly jolted out of his thoughts as he feels Jinpachi's weapon slice into his arm.

Saizo gasps in shock, and falls to one knee, blood flowing freely from the wound.

It is safe to say that practise is now over.

After assuring Jinpachi that he will be okay, Saizo enters the compound, heading for Sasuke's room. He is going there because it is the most likely place for Kosuke to be and even if she is not there, Sasuke always has a massive amount of bandages in his room.

Saizo makes his way to Sasuke's room with haste; his arm is excruciatingly painful and the blood will soon start to fall onto the floor.

-

Sasuke wakes from his sleep to find that he is alone in his room. His ability to sense presences has progressively inched up and now he is confident in knowing if there is anyone in the immediate area and if so, how far away they are, and in what direction.

'_Now if only I could get rid of this stupid fever, I would be fine!__'_Sasuke thinks furiously, pressing a cold hand to his burning forehead. _'__It__'__s blocking my sense of smell, and when I move too much the dizzy spells render me completely useless!__'_ He is brought out of his musings by Saizo's presence rapidly approaching.

Sitting up straighter in his bed, Sasuke clutches the blanket with one hand, while he lowers the other to rest by the glass of water that Akira put there for him before the two Shiseiten left to go and talk to Yukimura again. Well, before Akira dragged a still daydreaming Hotaru off to talk to Yukimura.

When Saizo finally does reach Sasuke's room, he finds the teenager sipping his water, not even coughing. That is good because very time Saizo normally tired to get Sasuke to drink anything, it would end up with the boy nearly passing out from his violent coughs.

"Sasuke! I need some bandages - Where do you keep yours?" Saizo asks hurriedly, instantly noting the fact that Sasuke's head snaps around to Saizo's position.

It takes a second for Sasuke to swallow his water, but he then says "Over in the medical cabinet. Why do you need them anyway?"

Sasuke's smell is out of work due to his general illness so he cannot smell the rich coppery tang of Saizo's blood, and there is no way that he can sense the wound.

Staring at Sasuke incuriously, Saizo cannot believe what he just heard. _'__Can he not see the blood?__'_

"You're…blind?" The realisation is impossible to keep out of his voice as Saizo stares in shock, horror and some pity at the thirteen-year-old.

Sasuke flinches when he recognizes his mistake. Looking away from Saizo, Sasuke accepts defeat. "Concussions can have many side effects…Blindness is just one of them." (3)

Sasuke suspects that Saizo is in slight shock, due to the fact that the other Jyuuyuushi does not say anything, he just walks over to the medicine cabinet and Sasuke assumes that he starts to bandage his wound.

Finally, after silence has reigned for a couple of minutes, Saizo finally turn back to the blind teenager and says in a distressed voice, "Sasuke, I must tell Yukimura-Sama."

"What? Hell no!" Sasuke yells, wishing that he could move - but the fear of reopening his wound is too great, so he stays put. "You can't tell Yukimura! He'll kill me!"

"Tell me what?" Yukimura's puzzled voice surprises both Jyuuyuushi.

Saizo had been so focused on his decision to tell Yukimura that he completely missed his Lord's arrival, and Yukimura was too skilled for Sasuke to detect him.

Yukimura had heard Sasuke's first outraged exclamation while he was on his way to visit the teenager and had hidden to listen to the conversation.

"Y-Yukimura-Sama!" Saizo says, suddenly very apprehensive.

Biting his lip, Sasuke curses the Gods of Fate. How mean were they going to be?

"Sasuke?" Yukimura asks, grinning to try and disperse the tense atmosphere.

The smile slips however, when Sasuke turns his head away from Yukimura, refusing to say that he is temporarily blind.

"Saizo?" Yukimura's voice has turned commanding, he is disturbed by the fact that neither of his must trusted Jyuuyuushi will talk to him.

Saizo looks at Sasuke, who looks exceedingly dejected.

'_What the hell would Yukimura want with a broken experiment like me? I can__'__t tell him.__'_Sasuke thinks harshly hating himself for not being able to be someone stronger.

Or at least human.

Sasuke has constantly told himself that he is nothing but a failed Mibu experiment that now, he does not think of himself as a human.

He is a Thing.

"Y-Yukimura-Sama…" Saizo begins, but stops, uncertain of how to continue, but he sees Sasuke flinch and Saizo decides that this is something that Sasuke has to do on his own.

Sasuke has figured out that by Saizo's silence he will have to tell Yukimura himself

"I…I've lost my sight." He finally mutters, tears threatening to form.

-

"Sasuke! You will stay here."

Speechless Sasuke stares in the direction of Yukimura, who is furious. "You are ill and still cannot see. The situation has not changed since three days ago!"

Three days have passed since Yukimura found out about Sasuke's concussion induced blindness, and it is fair say that Yukimura is livid with rage.

And the cause of the current dispute? There have been rumours that Tokugawa troops may be preparing an attack on tiny village that Yukimura has control over.

Said man is refusing to allow Sasuke to accompany him into battle, but Sasuke is just too stubborn.

"If would be better is you stay here. Sasuke you cannot help - " Before he can finish his sentence, Sasuke has left - running from the room, stumbling slightly as he focuses on trying to a way out of the complex.

His talks with Akira about how to get by without sight have paid off as soon he can feel the wind battering him and the feel of open space in front of him.

Pushing off from the ground, Sasuke jumps, narrowly landing on the roof.

He can hear and feel the Jyuuyuushi coming to his position, so he quickly makes up his mind to leave.

'_I__'__m not needed here. He doesn__'__t give a hell about me.__'_

"Sasuke-san?" Akira's voice calls out from below. "We are going to move onto another city, and it seems that you have no desire to stay here anymore."

Sasuke attempts to focus on Akira's presence, but the ice-wielder is too good at hiding it. Realising that he does not have much time, Sasuke turns back to the way he had come, towards Yukimura who has finally arrived on the roof.

"Sasuke!" Yukimura's voice is stern with tiny undercurrents of panic. "What the hell are you doing?"

Flinching at the tone, Sasuke closes his eyes and turns his head away from his Lord.

"You gave a choice once." His voice does not show the shaking that is causing his whole body to tremor. "You told me once that I could leave if I wanted to."

Yukimura recoils at Sasuke's words as a sharp pain shoots through his body.

That pain is nothing compared to what Sasuke is feeling.

Too many thought are trying to force their way into Sasuke's head, but they are competing with flashes of memories, which are giving his the illusion of sight - even if it is only the past.

The pain in his heart can only be described as if his heart it being eaten from the inside out, tearing it apart in order to escape.

He is hurting.

"Have you changed your mind, Yukimura?" His tone is deathly quiet, and Yukimura tries to reply, but has no idea what to say.

"Sasuke. Do not ever - Sasuke -"

"You can just find yourself another Sarutobi." Sasuke says his voice unconsciously turning bitter. "You can find another one who is actually a good Jyuuyuushi. Who is actually _human_." As soon as he has said it, Sasuke turns and leaps off the roof, hitting the ground running, Akira and Hotaru further down the road, waiting for him.

* * *

(1) I'm going by the idea that Kyo is the one who survives the final battle because I haven't finished the Manga yet.

(3) Transient cortical neurologic deficits, such as global amnesia or cortical blindness, can occur. These deficits are thought to be secondary to vascular hyperreactivity and may be trauma-induced, migraine-equivalent phenomena. (Basically, hit your head hard enough and you can disturb the optic nerves and cause blindness for an undetermined amount of time.)

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Seven, Finally the introduction of the two VERY important characters!_**


	8. Chapter Eight: Smile

_Chapter Eight_

_Smile _

_'__The battle seems so small. We are fighting over Japan, and yet we only seem to be fighting small battles.__'_ Illogical thoughts like that one are quickly pushed out of Saizo's mind as he watches Yukimura slaughter to Tokugawa troops.

True, there are five Jyuuyuushi helping every now and then, but all realises that Yukimura would not be able to tell the difference between his Jyuuyuushi and the Tokugawa enemies.

The smile on Yukimura's face sends shivers of fear down Saizo's spine - the smile of someone who is far too happy fighting and killing, the smile of someone who can only find purpose while fighting, the smile of someone who really does not want to smile.

The Sanada Jyuuyuushi are not dumb. They all know that Yukimura wanted to go and bring Sasuke back. If they had been asked what their Lord would have done a few days ago, if Sasuke had gone missing then, most of them would answer confidently that Yukimura would go after him.

But now the people who are closest to Yukimura are even more scared of him.

He abandoned Sasuke so easily.

"_Sasuke!__"__ The name was ripped from Yukimura as his most treasured Jyuuyuushi disappeared down the road, getting smaller and smaller every second._

_The moment of shock passed and Yukimura leapt down off the roof to run after Sasuke, but stopped suddenly, completely freezing._

_To run after Sasuke now would mean forfeiting the chance of a surprise attack on the Tokugawa soldiers surrounding his village._

_Torn between doing what was best for the Sanada Clan and what he wanted, Yukimura stayed frozen as Sasuke finally disappeared from view._

_Finally turning his back, Yukimura walked back into the compound, not saying a word to anyone._

_Everything was quiet as the Jyuuyuushi looked at the point where Sasuke, Akira and Hotaru had finally disappeared. Saizo wondered if they would ever see the teenager again, or if this was the final goodbye, and it was safe to say that they all felt small worms of worry work themselves into their stomachs._

_Worry for both Sasuke and Yukimura._

As Yukimura's sword descends upon another meaningless body, his mind has already started to scan the surroundings for any remaining presences. Upon finding eight left, Yukimura goes for the closest one, which just happens to be Saizo.

Momentarily surprised that their Lord would actually turn on them, Saizo just manages to dodge the blade by jumping backwards, his fog shrouding himself and the other Jyuuyuushi from their berserk master.

The deadly sword whistles through the fog, it's owner seeking the presences that have been encased in the blinding fog. The call of "Retreat!" does not reach Yukimura, but he does realise that these presences are moving away at a rapid rate and there are still three presences that are not running.

The horrific smile is still fixed on Yukimura's face as he turns to face the three stupid Tokugawa soldiers who are still alive.

On is the unlucky commanding general of this division of the Tokugawa army. His tactics are nasty and sneaky - but effective. He sends his soldiers in before him, doing exactly what Basara accused Yukimura of doing in Aokigahara when Sasuke threw himself in front of the arrows to save Yukimura. He uses his soldiers as shields, and thinks nothing of them but tools.

The other two are the only remaining skilled soldiers, both knowing that they will die - both knowing, but neither really caring.

As Saizo's fog clears, the battle ground is revealed again. The village is in front of Yukimura, the houses windows are closed and it appears to deserted. In the way of the village are the three Tokugawa, both soldiers standing about eight metres in front of their general.

Behind Yukimura there is a dense forest which is where the Sanada Jyuuyuushi have retreated into.

With a single lunge, Yukimura meets the first soldier in combat, their swords clashing together with a loud 'clang'. As they spring apart, both fighter know that within the next one or two strikes, one will be dead.

And it sure as hell will not be Yukimura.

With a final prayer to his family, the soldier engages in combat for the last time, closing his eyes against the terrifying smile that his enemy wears.

And suddenly there are only two Tokugawa military personnel left.

One is calm and as ready as possible for death. He is standing straight, his sword in front of him, waiting for the fight. A quick goodbye to his wife runs through his head, before the inevitable numbness sets in and he feels nothing as his mind shuts down.

Until the sword is embedded into his body.

The other is scared. He is sitting atop his horse, shaking with fear as his final shield is cut in half, crumpling to the floor, only leaving blood soaked ground between the terrified general and the berserk Yukimura.

He does not pray for his wife. Or his daughter. He does not even think of them.

He prays that **his **life will be spared. He prays that **he **will live to see another day end and be able to brag about how **he **killed Sanada Yukimura.

But then, praying is sort of hard to do when you have a sharp sword stuck through your stomach.

Looking down in shock, the general did not even notice Yukimura move. In fact, he would not believe that the man did, apart from the fact that the man is now standing in front of him, still grinning like a madman.

Alone on the battle-field, Yukimura slowly turns about, looking at the blood pools that are forming on the earth underneath all of the bodies.

As he sees the number of bodies strewn about and the blood staining clothes, Yukimura's blood rage leaves him and he slumps to the ground.

His sword is held loosely, and he does not notice that the general is not quite dead.

Why he does not notice? Yukimura is staring at the bloodstained grass and thinks slowly, almost sluggishly, 'Sasuke cannot see this'. A pause. 'Even if Sasuke was not blind, he is still not here to see it.'

The yell of 'Yukimura-Sama!' finally alerts him to the presence of the near-dead general.

But too late.

It is a very painful experience - to have a sword unceremoniously shoved through your left shoulder. In fact, the author does not even know how she should describe how bloody painful it is.

Saizo and the other Jyuuyuushi are by their master's side in a flash, three of them brutally murder the idiot that dared to hurt their master.

Yukimura himself has gone very pale and his right-uninjured arm is holding the side of his shoulder, the sword still stuck firmly in him.

-

The burning pain surrounding Sasuke's mind is driving him to near insanity. He uses all of his effort to roll over onto his left, taking an involuntary breath of relief as a cold wind blows across his face. Groaning in defeat, Sasuke wriggles slightly as he tries to move the rock that is jabbing into his side.

His breathing is heavy, laboured and sweat is forming on his face, giving him the sheen that reflects the flame from the campfire when it falls upon his exhausted form.

Akira is sitting calmly against a tree, watching the younger teenager who is obviously suffering. Akira feels something that is close to pity for Sasuke; firstly for becoming so ill (and not telling anyone did not help either), then fighting in his condition (which made it a lot worse). Being stabbed in the stomach (a wound which still has not healed), receiving a concussion and going blind all in less than three weeks would make most feel sorry for Sasuke.

Before, in one of the few times when Sasuke had actually fallen asleep, Hotaru had suddenly said, "I wonder what the Kid did to have such unfortunate things happen to him."

Akira, who is looking at this from a more logical point of view had replied, "Nothing. If you fall ill with a fever, it is advised that you do not engage in fights to the death, because the symptoms of the fever will dull your senses and it would be easy to beat someone in that state. Being thrown into a tree at a great speed would give most people concussion and it was very unlucky that Sasuke managed to acquire such a bad concussion."

Finally, Hotaru comes ambling into their tiny camp, holding a bucket of water. Akira is obviously curious to why Hotaru has been gone for nearly half an hour, when the stream is only a five minute walk away, but decides not to ask.

When Sasuke finally gives up on trying to sleep, he slowly sits up, the effort leaving him feeling drained and dizzy. His cracked and whispered voice just manages "What time is it?" Before he dissolves into an increasingly common coughing fit.

It only takes him a few minutes to get it under control, and after he has, Akira replies "The sun went down a while ago. Almost half the night has gone."

Sasuke drags himself over to a nearby tree and he props himself up, his head back against the bark, wishing he could see the stars, which are no doubt beautiful.

There is a silence in the camp as the fire crackles and finally, Akira murmurs "The other Sanada Jyuuyuushi will come after you."

Sasuke nods slowly, knowing that somehow Akira will know.

"Yukimura." Hotaru's input is really not appreciated.

Sighing, Sasuke looks in the direction of Hotaru and says "Yeah. Like hell that bastard would. He doesn't care about - Ahh!" Sasuke breaks off suddenly, gasping as his body feels like Akira has frozen him solid.

His breathing is suddenly short and painful and Sasuke topples to one side, curling up on himself, desperately trying to warm up.

-

A stinging cut is opened on his cheek as Akira's sword brushes his face. Jumping backwards, Sasuke extends his senses to try to make sure that Akira is not able to surprise him from above again.

Growling at himself for allowing Akira to cut him, Sasuke furiously grips Shibien tightly. 'I must be able to fight.'

He might not be as good as he was with sight, but hell, he can still decimate a few platoons of Tokugawa soldiers in his current state. And this is only after three weeks of training with Akira.

Sasuke had to wait two weeks after running away before he could even move properly - his fever had flared up and had rendered him bed-ridden.

But now he is well enough to move, he demanded that Akira taught him how to fight.

Training with Akira is not fun.

**First lesson:** Learning how to listen for your opponents .

It is hard enough normally, but when you are blind, you cannot see the almost silent ice until it has caught has caught you.

And ice is cold.

**Second lesson: **After your hearing is good enough, you realise that Akira can actually not make a sound if he wants.

And then you have to rely on sensing his presence.

Sasuke is still on the second lesson, and quite frankly, Sasuke does not really want to know the third. It will mean that for the first few fights of the third stage will end with Sasuke bruised, cut and possibly unconscious. Sasuke knows this because it happened during the first and second lesson.

But if Sasuke would actually stop and think about his progress, he would realise that when he gets his sight back (And he is sure that he will), he will have a better grasp on fighting.

Sasuke grins as he senses Akira to his left and brings Shibien to block a side cut - he knows that it is a side cut from the sound that Akira's sword makes as it travels through the air.

As the 'clang' of sword upon sword rings through the clearing they are practicing in, Sasuke hears the unmistakeable sound of Akira's second sword being drawn.

To avoid being cut, Sasuke flips backwards, landing in a defensive pose, ears and senses straining to try and sense the ice-wielder.

And so the training goes on.

-

"Yukimura smiles when he fights." Hotaru's observation goes ignored, as usual. "Neither of you two are smiling." He says, looking up from the ground to focus on the fighting pair. "Why don't you smile?" He finally asks, as the pair break apart, Sasuke's fingers holding Shibien coated in a fine layer of ice.

"Hotaru. Shut the hell up!" Sasuke yells at the lazy fire-wielder, his breathing fast and shallow as he tries to break the ice.

Hotaru watches in mild amusement as Sasuke struggles to fight of Akira, who decided to take advantage (1) of Sasuke's distracted state and attack.

A tiny bit disappointed that Sasuke managed to avoid having his legs frozen to the ground by a particularly nasty blast by Akira, Hotaru is about to comment on the weather when all three warriors freeze.

A Jyuuyuushi is getting slightly too close to their camp.

Slowly getting to his feet, Hotaru looks at Akira and Sasuke, both who have no sheaved their swords.

"Sasuke, go to the town north of here. I'll go east and take the shorter route. Akira, you take west and the longer route. We can all meet in the main brothel. Assuming they allow the Kid in."

Glaring at where he thinks Hotaru should be, Sasuke jumps up into the closest tree and takes off, jumping through the forest at an alarming speed.

-

Wishing they did not have to meet in a place so full of people, Sasuke desperately searches for any sign of Akira or Hotaru's presence.

Two hours have passed since nearly being caught by the Jyuuyuushi and Sasuke has finally arrived in the small town. And is lost.

Sasuke has a new-found respect for Akira - being blind is not something fun. Especially in a place you have never seen before.

"Are you lost?" A kind voice says and Sasuke finds himself standing in front of a presence. His hands itch to grab Shibien, but he reminds himself that he does **not** want to draw attention to himself.

"No." His reply is short and Sasuke tries to sidestep around the woman. Well, he thinks she is a woman; she has a feminine voice at least.

She just gives a small laugh and says "Are you sure? It's just that you look like you have no idea where you are, or where you are going."

"I'm fine."

The woman is young, only about twenty and her hair is a mix of red and gold and it falls to just below her elbows. Her eyes are a soft blue and she looks like she would make a great mother.

Her kimono is very ornate, it indicates that she is wealthy; it is long and black, made from a silk-like substance. On the back there is an intricate crest sewn in with silver thread. Her ears are adorned with onyx stones, an the necklace she wears is again onyx stones.

On her right arm there were are gold band studded with Onyx stones and diamond stones, and it leads to a beautiful golden mesh glove.

But of course, Sasuke cannot see any of this.

The woman frowns and looks closer at the teenager in front of her. "I'm sure you are, but I have not seen you around here before. Please - where are you trying to find?"

She watches in disappointment as the teenager turns his head to one side and says nothing. Sighing, she tries a different tact. "Maybe you would like to tell me your name?"

Sasuke frowns and wonders why this woman is being so…nice to him. He figures that the least he can do is give her his name. "Sarutobi Sasuke."

Smiling the woman is happy with this. "Well then, Sarutobi, can you please tell me where you are trying to get to?"

"My…comrades are planning on meeting me outside the brothel. The main one." Sasuke mumbles finally, turning his head back to where she should be.

Now it is her time to frown. Every time the boy looks at her…he does not. He looks in her direction, or slightly to the left or right, but he never focuses on her eyes, like most.

"You're…blind." She says slowly, the realisation dawning on her. "Oh you poor thing. To be blind at your age -"

Sasuke pushes past the woman angrily, not caring that he does not really know where he is going.

"It's the other way. Just a two minute walk down the second road on the left here. I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

Nodding, Sasuke murmurs a faint "Thank you", turning around and following her instructions.

It is only when he reaches the brothel does he realise that he never asked her name.

-

"Oh it was terrible! She said that every single Tokugawa soldier was murmured! And then they were all piled on top of each other and burned on the hill. I tell you, my sister said that she wont be able to get the stench of dead flesh out of her clothes for weeks!" A particularly loud woman is gossiping with another woman, sitting in the tea-house across from the brothel, which is where Sasuke has taken refuge, after not being allowed in the brothel.

The other woman gasps and nods sympathetically.

Sasuke grinds his teeth in annoyance; the woman's voice is really getting on his nerves.

" 'I'll never get over what happened there that day' she said. And I mean, I completely agree! How dreadful it must have been; to nearly be invaded. They are lucky they are that general Sanada Yukimura stopped the Tokugawa from raiding and killing everyone there. I hear that he took most of them out himself, he did." The woman babbles on, but Sasuke's interest has now been caught. "He obviously had them Sanada Jyuuyuushi with him, because he doesn't go anywhere without them, but they just stayed to onside and he killed everyone else. I can't ever think what would have put him into such a rage though. Mind you, it still wasn't enough. You seem my sister was the first on to see it, you see? She said that after the battle, guess who was carried into their town?"

The other woman makes a questioning sound before the first woman continues. "Sanada Yukimura himself! It seems that he didn't kill one of the soldiers enough because he managed to get himself stabbed in the shoulder he did. A nasty wound, my sister said. Never seen anything like it. He must have been so very distracted not to notice someone stabbing you. Apparently he was thinking of someone! Maybe he has a woman - " Any more that was about to be said is lost as Sasuke jumps up from his table, half wanting to cut the woman in half, half just wanting to curl up and die.

Because Sasuke knows.

Running away is something that Sasuke seems to be doing a lot.

-

"It wasn't a woman." Sasuke's voice is full of anger.

Hotaru slumps down next to the teenager and offers, again, "Yukimura."

Nodding, Sasuke balls his fists. "He was distracted by me. I caused him to get hurt. Again!"

"You can't take the full blame, Kid." Hotaru says, staring up at the now-night sky. As silence falls upon the two, Sasuke realises that he actually does not know where he is.

"Akira is coming." Hotaru murmurs, his gaze sliding to the teenager, who is hugging his knees to his chest, both hands fisted on the floor.

In the silence, Hotaru realises that the Kid does not want to talk, and that suits him just fine.

'_If I wasn__'__t such a screw-up, maybe__…__Not, I__'__m sure Yukimura wouldn__'__t be hurt. It__'__s because of me that he was distracted and stabbed. If he hadn__'__t found me in the woods, he would have never have to put up with me. I could have died there, and he would be better off.__'_

Sasuke rests his cheek on his knees, away from Hotaru and exhales. In the world of darkness that he is living in, he tries to imagine what the battle had been like. Sasuke can see Yukimura fighting, the Jyuuyuushi staying back, afraid of his awesome power.

But for Yukimura to be distracted…

No matter how hard he tries, he cannot imagine anything that could distract Yukimura.

'_Me running away__…__I know that__'__s why he was distracted, but why? He__'__ll be angry__…__I disobeyed orders._

_I disobeyed __**his **__orders. The orders from the head of the Sanada Clan.__'_Suddenly a very painful thought hits him. _'__Is Yukimura going to feel what Kotarou felt? Kotarou, he thought that I betrayed him__…__Will Yukimura think the same? _Sasuke stops. He really does not want to think about this. _'__He will be angry. He will hate me.__'_ Sasuke finally decides.

Hotaru watches Sasuke, and idly wonders what he is thinking. _'__No doubt something to do with Yukimura. He__'__s always thinking about him.__'_

When Akira finally arrives, the silence remains, as Akira is very good at reading emotions and can tell.

Looking at Akira first, who has his eyes closed, and then Sasuke, who also has his eyes closed, Hotaru wonders why he always seems to be surrounded by blind people.

* * *

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chater Eight, Poor Sasuke._**


	9. Chapter Nine: Wouldn't Kiss a Thing

_Chapter 9_

_Wouldn__'__t Kiss a Thing _

That night, Sasuke has nightmares.

Well, it is not really night; more the early hours of the morning, but Sasuke and Hotaru are still asleep. Akira is sitting on guard, carefully watching for any Jyuuyuushi, while keeping an 'eye' on the thrashing teenager. It does not surprise Akira actually. The boy seemed so disturbed by the news that Yukimura has been so grievously injured that Akira almost expected Sasuke to have the nightmares.

Part of him wonders if the teenager is used to having nightmares. He also wonders how Sasuke would deal with them back at the Sanada household.

Then again, he was living with Yukimura.

Akira can imagine that Yukimura is actually quite a good listener - when not drunk.

But Akira also knows that Yukimura holds Sasuke in a different part of his heart. Sure, all of the Jyuuyuushi have a place in his heart, but Akira has picked up on the way Yukimura talks about Sasuke, how easily angered he is if Sasuke is nearly hurt - and how he gets when Sasuke **is **hurt.

Akira suspects that Hotaru also knows. At times the lazy fire-wielder can be very perceptive, despite looking like he is not paying attention, and about to fall asleep.

After a final cry of "Yukimura!" Sasuke stops moving, sighs gently and relaxes into the ground. His breathing is still slightly laboured, but at least his nightmare has ended.

With a sigh, Akira realises that Sasuke cannot stay with them forever. If Yukimura has the Sanada Jyuuyuushi looking for Sasuke, then they will be found, and Sasuke will be dragged back.

"We'll have hell to pay." Hotaru's voice comes from Akira's left. "When Yukimura gets Sasuke back."

Again- Hotaru can be very perceptive.

Nodding, the pair fall into silence as the rays of sunlight break into the camp, dispelling the shadows of the night. Akira stands and picks the wooden bucket they use to hold water, but before he can leave the camp, Hotaru's voice stops him.

"We both know."

Akira waits for him to say more, but after a couple of seconds, Akira just smiles. "We both know. - Too many things about him?"

Grinning lazily Hotaru leans back against the tree and watches the sun rise higher.

-

Hotaru finds Sasuke sitting in a dark area of the forest.  
He has managed to find his way to the part of the forest that is dead. The main trees are dead and the grass is brown, yellow and hard. It is sparse and the ground is bare, just soil, however it is so dry that Hotaru is not sure if it can even be described as soil.  
Looking around at the decaying trees, Hotaru wonders what happened here to cause such destruction. Most of the trees are broken, snapped in half or completely uprooted, the branches covered in moss and large black mushroom-like fungi.  
There are many crows in this section of the woods; preying upon the dead animals. That's one of the things that Hotaru notices. There are lots of dead animals, all in various states of decomposing. Some are nothing but skeletons, other have just died.  
Wondering what Sasuke would be doing in such a weird place, Hotaru carefully makes his way towards the teenager, who is sitting on a massive tree which has been cut from its roots.  
Most of the trunk is covered in an odd looking dark green, fuzzy moss, which Sasuke is avoiding. Said teenager is gripping on the bark, his legs dangling off the edge with about a four foot drop below.  
As Hotaru gets closer to him, Sasuke's head snaps up, staring straight at Hotaru. "What the hell do you want?"  
Smiling at his greeting, Hotaru sits down on the floor (an area that is devoid of dead animals) and shrugs lazily. "A nice place to come to."  
"No one said you had to come." Sasuke's voice is slightly nasty and he sneers at Hotaru. "I'm fine on my own. I don't need a babysitter."

Almost laughing Hotaru replies "No you don't need one. But right now - How about a companion?"

Sasuke does not say no, but then, he does not actually say anything, for he is staring at a random place on the ground, his face showing that he is clearly in thought.

Sasuke does not say no, but then, he does not say anything, for he is staring at a random place on the ground, his face showing that he is clearly in thought.

_The hand extends down to the young boy and he gazes up at it, only slightly aware of the pouring rain, and the cold. He wonders if he should trust this stranger from outside…But then, he can give Sasuke some warmth…Something he hasn't felt in years…_

'_Another hand is extending down to me, huh. But I can't take this one. I…Never let go of the other.'_

Hotaru watches the teenager for a few seconds and then looks down at the bird that has flopped into his lap, it's leg ripped, it's wing torn and it's tiny head cut open. As he watches, the bird tries to seek a final scrap of warmth in Hotaru before it dies. He wonders if he should mention the bird to Sasuke, but decides that there would be no point. The bird shudders once, desperately trying top flap it's wings and fly one last time, but the effort only ends up draining the rest of its remaining life.

Lifting another dead thing off his body, Hotaru wonders why he did not move the bird before. Standing up slowly, Hotaru looks at Sasuke and feels a pang of pity when he sees the teenager's hand raised in front of his face, his eyes staring blankly at it.

Unsure of what to say, Hotaru simply walks away, leaving the blind teenager to sit alone for a few minutes.

He also misses Sasuke's shocked murmur, "The Light…It's…Brighter…"

Sasuke knows that Hotaru has gone – He can feel Akira and Hotaru back in their makeshift camp, training together. Sasuke can also now say that he can definitely "see" something. Even if it is only a black shape of a very dark red background.

His sight is coming back.

Different emotions flash through his body, but they are dulled to just flashes. Everything has been slightly numbed for Sasuke since he k new that he was the reason for Yukimura's injury.

Well, apart from Anger. And self loathing.

It is **his** fault that Yukimura got hurt because Yukimura was thinking about **him**.

And it sickens Sasuke because Yukimura only ever goes berserk when he is angry and he had been thinking of Sasuke…

"He…He was so angry with me…" Sasuke mutters, his hand dropping and his head falling back, his eyes closing again. "He hates me." His laugh is not out of amusement, but out of pure hate for himself. "Kotarou…"

Kotarou, his best friend, thought that Sasuke had betrayed him for so many years.

He has been so lost in his thoughts he, doesn't notice that Akira is coming closer to his position.

In fact, he only realises it when Akira gently alerts Sasuke by making the water in the air cool and nearly freeze.

"This place reminds you of Aokigahara."

Going rigid, Sasuke turns towards where Akira's voice is coming from. "If I could see this place, then I might be able to say." The fact that this place senses exactly like Aokigahara is going to be completely ignored by Sasuke.

"Somehow I doubt that. You can smell the blood and sense the dying animals. I can tell you about the dead trees and dry grass. I am sure that you can picture it."

With a small 'humph' Sasuke turns away from Akira. "And I suppose you _**saw **_this?"

Smiling, Akira sits down in the same spot that Hotaru used. "Hotaru mentioned it to me as we fought - Almost an hour ago. You have been here for almost three hours, and we have decided that we should be moving on."

Sighing, Sasuke hops down from the branch, landing lighting on his feet, crunching the skull of a long dead rodent. "Where are we going now? We can't go back to the other town - The Jyuuyuushi will be looking."

Akira nods, murmuring in agreement, "We'll head in the opposite direction, South-West. It may be closer to Mount Kudo, but it will be better than trying to get past the Jyuuyuushi who appear to be blocking the other main towns." He pauses to almost smile "And it would not benefit us to go to Aokigahara."

Adjusting Shibien on his back, Sasuke nods once and then follows as Akira leads the way back to the camp where Hotaru is idly poking the fire with a stick, not at all concerned that the piece of wood is rapidly burning.

Instead of turning around to face the two blind teenagers, Hotaru just slowly tilts his head back until he is staring at them, blinking at their upside-down appearances.

"Maa?" He asks, somehow managing to make the word sound like 'Are we going now?'. How, Sasuke is not quite sure.

-

"Yukimura-Sama are you really sure that it would be wise for you to go out after - while you -" Saizo pauses, struggling to find a respectful way to say 'After you spaced out on a battlefield and got a sword in the shoulder'. Oh, not to forget that whenever Yukimura moves too much _**it wont stop bleeding**_.

The General in question just ignores Saizo and slowly starts to re-dress, with the help of Kosuke.

She had just finished changing the dressing on his shoulder when Saizo brought a report from one of the towns a few days walk from Mount Kudo. The daughter of the wealthiest family had reported meeting a blind teenager - And her description fitted Sasuke perfectly.

Finally shrugging on his Six Mon crest coat, Yukimura stands and looks at Saizo. "Find where they will be going. Then, alert all of the Jyuuyuushi and surround them. Do not kill then Shiseiten. Fight them if you want." His tone is clipped but scary as he picks up his Muramasa. "Kosuke, you shall remain here - I don't want the Tokugawa to take advantage of this opportunity."

The Kagemusha nods and leaves to make some preparations for Yukimura's leaving.

Saizo raises his head as Yukimura passes - The Jyuuyuushi is knelt on one knee, his hand by the bent knee and head bowed.

"We will find him, Saizo."

Yukimura's last encouragement is a promise that everyone in Mount Kudo has heard over the last few days.

With a swift "Hai!", Saizo bows once, before Yukimura leaves the room, his face forced into a stupidly bright smile, as if trying to deceive the others into thinking that he's fine.

Which he's not.

Because Yukimura just cannot understand why Sasuke ran away. '_He mentioned something about finding another Sasuke_' That always sends a stab of pain through Yukimura's body. '_Then something about a human__…_' With a curse Yukimura recalls their forest night weeks ago.

"_Why do you care, Sanada Yukimura? I mean, I am just a Jyuuyuushi, someone who is expected to fight for you__…__and by your side, if you so wish.__"__ Sasuke says harshly, not even sure himself why he is finally saying these things. __"__I never could understand why you decided to take me in from __Aokigahara in the first place. It__'__s not like you had to. After all, I__'__m sure that you know that most if the things in Aokigahara are failed Mibu experiments.__"_

"Mibu experiment…An experiment?" Yukimura thinks slowly, trying to understand how Sasuke could believe that he is nothing more than a Thing or just a failed experiment.

He misses Sasuke.

In the middle of the night he always wakes to seeing Sasuke walk way, not ever looking back, nor coming back. And before long, Yukimura will find himself staring down at Sasuke's neatly made _**empty**_ bed.

And it hurts.

Because - Even though Sasuke walked away - Ran away, Yukimura turned his back.

He could have run after him, stopped him, worked through the problems and hugged his Sasuke and it would all be fine.

But the village would be lost - the soldiers would have had the advantage and could have raped, abused and murdered the villagers.

Shaking his head once, Yukimura's smile is long gone- How can you smile about thing like this?

"I had to go- Those people - The Sanada Clan - They all depend on us and Sasuke _knows_ this."

And yet, it doesn't console him.

His face set in determination, Yukimura strides away from Sasuke's room, not even surprised that he ended up there.

-

Leaping forward to engage the two Shiseiten, the three Sanada Jyuuyuushi have their orders not to kill Akira and Hotaru, but delay them. Give Yukimura time with Sasuke.

As Akira freezes Jinpachi to the ground, he calmly draws both his swords and smiles slightly as a blast of fore goes shooting past.

Hotaru's tattoos have somehow worked their way onto his face and he is smiling; happy to be in a proper fight.

The change of the healthy forest to the dead forest is gradual. First the animals die. There are more decomposing corpses, which could explain why the flowers are so beautiful. Unsurprisingly they are all deep reds and cover the forest floor like a field of poppies…Or more accurately a field of blood. The grass is luscious and full, long and swaying slightly in the breeze.

But then the grass dies. It shrives and turns to a dark brown, falls and becomes crunchy. The grass looks, oddly enough, like it is saturated with blood.

Lots of blood.

How unsurprising.

Finally the trees die, the further you move toward the dead forest. Once the trunks are withered and yet more blood and bones decorate the trees, you will realise that you are there.

Quite honestly, feeling Yukimura's presence approaching does not startle Sasuke. In fact - He has actually been waiting for this moment.

Because he knows. This moment will change the rest of his future. And he has two options.

Because it's always two options. You are never given two options where it is clear which one you should choose, so like a really nasty and bad option and then one that will make the world perfect.

No. You're given two options that are both equally buggerish that makes you want to kick something really hard, or burn something to the ground.

When Yukimura sees Sasuke for the first time in weeks, he is horrified. The thirteen-year-olds arms are covered in bruises and cuts. The bruising does not look too bad; they are slightly yellow, but mainly a rich purple. Most of the cuts are minor and have already scabbed and are nothing more than angry red lines. Sasuke's legs are also covered in cuts, but more nasty than the ones before. The main one that stands out, however is the scar from Shibien, which is a bright white line now, gleaming against the other red cuts.

Sasuke stiffens suddenly - as soon as Yukimura comes within half a meter of the blind teenager. Before Sasuke can turn to face his master, he is embraced from behind. Drawing the boy close, Yukimura closes his eyes and breathes in deeply.

He can feel that Sasuke is stiff against him and wishes that the ninja would just relax for once. Would just act like a normal thirteen-year-old for once.

But he wont.

Ever since Yukimura first met Sasuke, the boy acted like someone much older than his age. A normal child would have been crying his eyes out by the time Yukimura first found him in the woods. A normal boy would allow himself to be hugged, not jump away and ask what type of attack that was.

Softly sighing, Yukimura crushes the boy closer, wincing only slightly at the pain from his still-healing wound.

"Why?"

The voice breaks Yukimura. It twists his heart and sends a nasty shudder through his body. He wants to answer. He wants to tell Sasuke how important he is, but he just can't form the words.

His silence hurts Sasuke even more. He is not sure what he asked. Why it has taken Yukimura so long to come after him? Why Yukimura bothered? Why did he even run away in the first place? Even though Sasuke does not know what he asked, he still wants an answer - or anything.

Yukimura is ignoring the burning pain in his shoulder, which is steadily getting worse and is now spreading down to his arm, making him want to drop the painful embrace, but right now, only death can separate him from his Sarutobi Sasuke.

**His. **Not anyone else's. Not the Sanada Clan's and **not** Aokigahara's.

Yukimura's.

Suddenly, he can feel the teenager in his arms pushing away.

"Bastard let go." Sasuke's voice is quiet with only a hint of aggression towards his master.

Yukimura's instant reaction is to grip him tighter, but this only leads to Sasuke struggling to get himself out of Yukimura's slightly painful grip.

"Sasuke I -"

"Get off me!" Whatever Yukimura wanted to say was cut off by Sasuke's exclamation. His grip on Sasuke is broken as the teenager forcefully shoves Yukimura's arm off him, stumbling slightly as he moves about a metre away.

Turning to face Yukimura, Sasuke opens his eyes, inwardly wincing at the brightness of the red in his vision.

Taking a step towards Sasuke, Yukimura does something that can only be described as twitching when Sasuke moves away.

'_Why won__'__t the let me get closer?__'_

Every time Yukimura moves, Sasuke also moves, keeping the same distance in-between the two males.

"Sasuke please - " Yukimura starts, but stops as soon as the young ninja jumps even further away.

Frustrated, Yukimura wants to grab Sasuke and ask him why he wont just stop all of this and come back to Mount Kudo.

But he can't. Because Sasuke wont let him say anything or try and get closer.

After standing still for a few second, Yukimura suddenly lunges at Sasuke, using his speed to take the teenager by surprise and grab him by the upper-arm. His grip is painfully tight and Sasuke tries to get out, desperate to not be touched by Yukimura.

As soon as his master touches him, Sasuke feels warm - a warmth that spreads through his body and completely over-rides everything else.

But it also makes him remember the first time they touched. And how young he was.

He hates it.

He hates being the youngest Sanada Jyuuyuushi.

He hates being nothing more than a Kid in everyone's eyes.

He hates being treated like a kid, which is inevitable because everyone judges him on his appearance and not his personality! (Hey, he feels like he should be treated like an adult.)

He does not understand it really. And he probably never will. He was so young when Yukimura found him. He was so young, weak and pathetic! Why would Yukimura give him the name of Sarutobi Sasuke if he was so **weak**?!

Another thought pokes him and Sasuke realises something that makes him freeze.

Yukimura feels a stab of worry as Sasuke suddenly stops, not moving in the slightest apart from the rise and fall of his chest.

'_If he __**knew **__that I was a Mibu thing back then__…__It would explain__…__I __**am **__a tool._'

Yes now Yukimura terrified. Sasuke is laughing. It is more of a breathy chuckle, but Sasuke is laughing.

"Sasuke…?" Yukimura ventures, worried about what answer he might get.

" '**The reason that Yukimura takes care of you****…**** I think I finally understand.****'**"Sasuke quotes, remembering back to what Kyo had said to Sasuke while fighting one of the Junishinshou. "He figured out what I am. And understood why you kept me."

Confused, Yukimura can only stare at Sasuke as the boy **smirks** at him.

"You've always known that I am a Thing. You gave me this name because you knew that I am a tool that could be shaped to become whatever you want." He laughs again, not trying to get away anymore. "And a tool - A Thing should do whatever **it****'****s** owner wants. If **It****'****s**master wants to throw **it **away, if **It****'****s **master wants to get a new one, he can - And **It **shall not comment. If **It****'****s **owner wanted to -" he gets no further in his cocky rant because of something that he never imagined would happen.

He supposes that he really should protest - he doesn't _want _to be kissed by Yukimura. He really doesn't. But being a tool and all - it means that he will do whatever his master wants, and if his master wants to kiss him, he really shouldn't complain.

Not that he ever would.

It is a soft kiss - Just Yukimura's lips on Sasuke's, nothing else.

And when Yukimura finally pulls away, Sasuke opens his lips, licks them once and continues his last sentence "Kiss me, I would really have no objections."

It is needless to say that Sasuke is very confused (even more confused than being kissed by someone, another man who is also his master) when Yukimura grips Sasuke's shoulders and crushes him into his chest once again.

"You're not." If Sasuke could see (so if he wasn't blind or being held in another unbreakable hug) he would see that Yukimura's face is a picture of just controlled fury.

Yukimura is trying to think of something else to say, another way to tell Sasuke that he is wrong - that he is nothing a tool and he has never been a Thing. Yukimura had thought that they had covered this topic of considering the Jyuuyuushi as tools before, but obviously not.

"You're not a tool. You're my companion - A friend -"

"Who you take advantage of." Sasuke's voice is back to it's normal stoic self, only slightly muffled by Yukimura's chest.

Mentally flinching, Yukimura's grip almost tightens, but does not. In fact, it slowly starts to loosen and within two minutes, Yukimura has completely let go of Sasuke, and the two males are standing opposite, both staring almost defiantly at each other.

Yukimura can almost see the confusion in Sasuke's eyes, but the emotion is very well hidden behind his normal steely gaze.

Sasuke is glad that he cannot see Yukimura's eyes, because something tells him that if he could, they would hold emotions that would make him want to rethink his ideas on Yukimura only wanting him as a tool.

But he can't.

So neither are willing to back down and look away first - Neither want to admit any more weakness.

Taking a breath, Yukimura opens his mouth and puts both of his hands on Sasuke's shoulders. "Come back with me?"

Not too surprised with the question, Sasuke simply raises an eyebrow and says in the same soft voice that Yukimura used "Not a command?"

Shaking his head slightly, Yukimura only answers the question that way - his next comment not really on the same subject. "I don't care if you are a Mibu experiment. And it doesn't make you any less human." Trying to make the situation slightly lighter, Yukimura drapes himself over Sasuke, smiling "And I wouldn't kiss a thing." He says happy that for once Sasuke is not protesting - or standing rigid - or doing anything that would mean that Yukimura would have to let go of his Sasuke.

"Hmph. Yeah, you'd kiss everything else though." Now that stings.

Closing his eyes against Sasuke's words, Yukimura wishes that it wasn't true - but it is. He's a flirt. A major one.

'_Not a command__…_' Sasuke thinks slowly as there is a silence after his last statement. Attempting to smile Sasuke simply says, "Heh, even if I didn't come, I'm sure you'd make me."

Blinking at what the teenager said, Yukimura desperately tries to ignore what instantly flashes through his head. Finally, he manages to settle on hugging him tighter.

* * *

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Nine, Had fun with this one :D_**


	10. Author's Note

Hey to everyone who reads this Fic!

Sorry, but this is not a chapter.

I've been having troubles thinking of a new story line for this fic, because the one I am currently on is comming to a close, which you can see in the proper chapter 10 - Sanctuary.

**So this is a plea from me: please, if anyone has the slightest idea of a new plot arc then PLEASE let me know. **If you hadn't guessed, I don't mind if it involves tourturing a character, but I think that for my sake (Karma's still after me) that we should leave Sasuke alone. ¬¬ For now.

I have some ideas, but I'm still trying to lenghten them, so I'm still up for ideas!

xXx


	11. Chapter Ten: Sanctuary

----Chapter 10-  
Sanctuary ⌠I think my proposition is fair, ne Akira-San?. Yukimura's face might be fixed in a light hearted expression, and although his voice might sound happy, by no means does that make him happy. Oh no - He has a steely edge to his persona and an aura that is warning the ice Shiseiten that it doesn't matter if Akira thinks it is fair or not, he will stay and will continue his training with Sasuke . The training which, if you can remember, was nicely interrupted by a certain Jyuuyuushi (┘that goes by the name of Saizo┘) got too close to the camp and the trio were forced to split and run away. No, Akira will stay, or he will suffer the consequence of having to fight an extremely pissed off Yukimura and the eight Jyuuyuushi at Mount Kudo (But the other two are due back any time soon.  
Now - Hotaru could leave, Yukimura does not really care unless Hotaru is going to contribute more than just shooting random fireballs at Sasuke when he's resting, but as Hotaru semi-explained to Akira and Sasuke before when Sasuke asked why they were travelling together, that if Hotaru was on his own then that would mean that he would actually have to plan stuff, and have to use his own money to buy food (oh the horror), and have to choose things and would have to think. He says it's much more easier with Akira there because he can get off with doing almost nothing, and gets all of the benefits. And anyway, if Akira is training with Sasuke then that means that Sasuke will get frozen a few times - something that Hotaru finds highly entertaining for some reason.  
Without waiting for an answer from Akira, Yukimura stands up, casts a look at Sasuke, who is calmly sipping his tea and Hotaru shooting mini-fireballs at the ceiling (He's only burnt two large holes!) and then leaves.

Finally Akira places his tea down and turns to face the still blind younger teenager. ⌠How is your sight, Sasuke-san?■ It has been a week since the escapade in the forest and in that week the three have not had much time to talk due to the fact that Yukimura has been keeping Sasuke under lock and key, as if he was afraid that Sasuke would run off again. (Which was a hard blow to Sasuke because he feels like he▓s completely lost Yukimura▓s trust┘)  
Opening his golden eyes, Sasuke flinches at how bright the world has become. ⌠It▓s orange┘■ He says quietly, closing his eyes again, preferring the darker reds and other red-like colours. ⌠Haven▓t opened my eyes for a week, so it▓s all bright.■ Smiling Akira tilts his head slightly as he thinks. ⌠I believe, that in a month or so, you should actually be able to see more colours, almost all of them, however everything will be exceedingly blurry. I estimate that it will take you at least three months after that before your sight will be as it was before the accident, and even then, it might not be perfect.■ Hotaru just smiles as another large hole appears in the ceiling.  
⌠Four months┘?■ Sasuke asks slowly. ⌠That would mean that I▓ve been blind for half a year.■ ⌠D▓you want your sight back?■ Hotaru asks, turning his head to face Sasuke, but his eyes stay on the damned moth that keeps on evading his fireballs.  
There is a pause as Sasuke contemplates his answer.  
▒Yes I want to be able to see again; everything is so hard without sight┘And I can do more things like pour tea. Not that I ever need to pour tea┘That▓s not the point! My life with sight is easier than being blind because I▓ve been able to see before.▓ ▒But┘I don▓t want it back┘Because I don▓t need to rely on seeing anymore. I can do things without it - And now I only have to hear the disappointment in Yukimura▓s voice; I don▓t have see it in his face anymore!▓ As the silence stretches on longer, Hotaru idly wonders what would happen if he tried to burn Saizo▓s scarf. (He can imagine that the stuffy Jyuuyuushi getting very annoyed.  
⌠I┘Don▓t want to disappoint Yukimura again, so if it makes me stronger then I want my sight back, but if it makes me weaker, then I▓ll blind myself.■ The bond that has formed between the two Shiseiten and Sasuke over the last seven weeks is an unusual one because the three do not talk about the past, they do not talk about the Mibu and actually, in general they not talk much (They can go hours without saying anything, and yet will always know what the other is thin king, unless Hotaru is snickering, in which case Akira and Sasuke just try to avoid him as much as possible.  
Their bonds have been formed through fighting - completely giving themselves to the heat of the battle, not showing the others compassion or mercy. (Unless Sasuke fainted. Which happened a fair amount.  
To be honest - It annoys Hotaru that even though he has his eyesight, he can still be evenly matched against some blind people. Now, this isn▓t a problem if it was just Akira, but what really bugs him (apart from the goddamned moth that has evaded fifteen fireballs) is the fact that Sasuke can nearly fight evenly with him. Sure, Hotaru can still beat him into unconsciousness, but he has try!  
▒The damn kid is strong, yet he thinks of himself as a failure┘▓ -  
⌠He isn▓t that old, is he?■ Hotaru mutters, watching Sasuke smile at a passing butterfly.  
⌠Thirteen.■ Akira smiles, not exactly happy, but more┘pleased, to see Sasuke so feeling better - More like he was while travelling with Kyo and the others. ⌠He has a lot of responsibilities for his age.■ A nod from Hotaru and a triumphant grin as he finally manages to torch the moth that evaded him two days ago.  
⌠What transpired in the forest, do you think that Sasuke-san will tell the other Jyuuyuushi?■ Akira asks, waiting for Sasuke to finish so that they can begin the days training.  
Hotaru does not answer, and before long, the butterfly has flown off, leaving Sasuke alone again.  
Even though Sasuke is now alone in the square, the blind teenager can just imagine Kotarou smiling, .▒You deserve to┘be happy. You wont forget me, will you? I understand why you have to become better to prove that you are more than a little monster from Aokigahara. I understand your desire not to be seen as a failure by Yukimura. I understand you have to be stronger and more loyal than Shindara so that you▓re not just his replacement. I understand and I know you▓ll live both of our lives as best as you can.▓ Smiling faintly, Sasuke unsheathes Shibien and walks over to the Shiseiten.  
It comforts him.

Even though Mount Kudo has a practice area for the Sanada Jyuuyuushi, the trio try to avoid it as much as possible.  
Why?  
The strong desire not to meet any other Jyuuyuushi.  
Well, Sasuke▓s strong desire not to meet any other Jyuuyuushi.  
His extreme ideas about his failure make him want to train as much as possible, stretching his body well beyond it▓s limits of having to cope, heal and grow (he▓s only 13, he▓s still growing!) at the same time.  
There was an incident soon after they came back where, when Sasuke was training, two of the other Jyuuyuushi were watching over him and were trying to make him see that if he continued for much longer, he could collapse. Sasuke told them that before he was able to do that sort of training perfectly well and one of the Jyuuyuushi made the mistake of pointing out that that was before and now he is ▒too weak to be fighting so hard▓. Now, what he meant to say was that Sasuke needs to let his wounds heal before he tried to do that sort of training, because his body wouldn▓t be able to cope.  
To Sasuke, it is a devastating comment. ▒ The people I considered my┘my family┘▓ He thinks while clashing with Akira, only to jump out of the way of a fireball. ▒ Even they think I am weak. They think I am pathetic. How can I be their - and Yukimura▓s companion when I▓m so far below them? ▓ And for the first time in years, Sasuke has been doing a good job of pushing them away. Saizo has been trying to talk to him, but Sasuke just ignore him. Kosuke and the others have tried their best to make him understand that they only want what is best for him. As for Yukimura? He is watching over this rift in his family and doing one of the few things he can think of: drinking.  
Amazingly, a breakthrough did not come from Akira or Hotaru.  
It came from Saizo.

Saizo took it upon himself to be the unofficial ▒big-brother▓ of Sasuke and the more they talked and fought together, the closer they became.

That feeling of being a sort of older brother to Sasuke never left Saizo, and his worry for the teenager finally drove him to take a form of action that Sasuke would actually pay attention to.

It was a rare moment: Neither Yukimura, Akira or Hotaru are with Sasuke in his room, just before lunch. (Probably because the first three are all at a meeting together )  
Slipping into the thirteen year - old▓s room, Saizo braces himself for the conversation coming.  
⌠Sasuke.■ Said teenager turns to face him with an annoyed face. ⌠What?■ His tone isn▓t encouraging, but it will not deter Saizo.  
Trying to think of the best way to word his question, Saizo wonders if he should be tactful, or if it will make any difference.  
⌠Come on already! Just ask your damned question and give the lecture and leave!■ Obviously not.  
Taking a breath Saizo asks ⌠What▓s your relationship with Yukimura-Sama?■ ▒Something happened in the forest┘Neither will talk about it┘▓ ▒A friend he takes advantage of.▓ The though instantly flashes through Sasuke▓s mind so fast that he is not even sure if he thought it. Instead he just sits in a shocked (and slightly offended) manner. It was the sort of question he expects from Akira or Hotaru, not Saizo. ⌠Relationship?■ He pauses ⌠We - I┘I serve him.■ The force of Saizo▓s glare tells him not to bother trying to evade or lie.  
⌠I lo-■ He sops, disgusted that he could even think of such a word. That word made men weak.  
Unsure of how to express himself, Sasuke just sits there, lightly fingering Shibien. The feelings that he does not understand (the sense of warmth when Yukimura is near), does not know how to deal with (the great wanting just to be touched by his master, in any way), does not want (the dependency he has upon Yukimura.  
⌠He▓s my master. I can▓t disappoint him again, so whatever he needs - regardless of myself - whatever he needs, I shall give him. He already has my life, so I can only off my body┘■ The blind boy sops, thinking about how badly damaged his body is ⌠And even that┘■ ⌠Is more than he is asking of any of the Sanada Jyuuyuushi.■ Saizo▓s firm, but gentle voice stops him. ⌠We are his guards, yes - but we are also his companions, his family, to go so far. If he wanted slaves, he would have bought us and treated us like them.■ A good ten minutes silence passes and finally Saizo turns to leave, disappointed that he got no reaction, but a tiny, almost inaudible ⌠Thank you■ Makes him pause for a second.  
▒I might not approve of your relationship with Yukimura-sama, but if you▓re both happy together, it cannot be bad.▓ -  
▒I just need a few minutes, a brief time away from Mount Kudo, to gather my thought.▓ Those sort of thoughts are running through Sasuke▓s mind as he sits down. ▒Just a┘few┘minutes┘rest┘▓ His fatigued body sags against the tree: he is already asleep.  
And that is how he found him: propped up against a tree, facing into the glade.  
The golden sunlight streams down through the canopy, offsetting the bright emerald green plants that glisten with the morning dew and consume the forest floor.  
Tiny butterflies are resting on some of the larger plants, occasionally fluttering their wings. Few dare fly close to the misshapen circular pool which can only be described as a mirror: for it is reflecting the surroundings flawlessly. The reason no butterflies go close, is that from this mirror a stunning dark green plant is growing tall, and a great, dark blue dragonfly is hovering above it - Seemingly debating whether to land or fly off. The soft breeze - what has not been obstructed by the trees, gently rolls around the glade, giving movement to the otherwise still plants and hardly makes the dragonfly▓s choice any harder.  
Yukimura is puzzled as to how something so beautiful can exist, when it surrounded by such, for a better word, evil. The destroyed and withered old tree trunks are cracked and hold few - or none of their leaves. The few trees that do, the leaves are dark brown and look as if they are decaying. The harsh ground is not softened by luscious grass or plants, but is made worse by stiff scatterings of dark, yellow-y brown clumps of dead grass.  
The bird song is still irregular - much like it is inside of the lade, however, while inside the sanctuary the bird song is soft and beautiful, in the rest of the forest the bird song is harsh - more like crow squawks.  
A hand wonders to his sake bottle, but before he can remove it, Yukimura decides against bringing something impure as sake out in such a pure place.  
Not to mention that Sasuke would probably not be too happy to wake up next to his drunken master, destroying the sacredness of this place.  
This place that is Sasuke▓s sanctuary. The place he goes whenever he does not want to be Sarutobi Sasuke.  
A sanctuary where he does not have to worry about being a Sanada Jyuuyuushi.  
Where his place of birth accounts to nothing and he is not judged by anything.  
Looking at his shinobi, Yukimura realises that Sasuke looks at peace. He looks like a normal teenager - Not someone who was raised in Aokigahara, not someone who is feared for being the best shinobi. Not someone who could - and has - killed hundreds of people.  
Just an ordinary teenager.  
Sasuke has positioned himself in such away that a beam of sunlight falls just above his sleeping figure, allowing tiny particles to be illuminated by the glow of the sun as they fall onto him, his entire form almost glowing from the light. His hair has been messed by the breeze and a few strands are hanging down over his closed eyes.  
Yukimura cannot understand how Sasuke can still be asleep, despite the fact that Yukimura is close to him. Normally, if anyone came anywhere near Sasuke while he slept, the Shinobi would wake instantly, Shibien drawn and ready to kill.  
And yet, as Yukimura raises a hand and gently touches Sasuke▓s cheek, he gets no response.  
Smiling, he gently strokes his charge▓s face, amazed at what this glade has done to the teenager.  
Finally, Yukimura stands, his hand leaving Sasuke. He has a resolve. If Sasuke can find a sanctuary where he can be at peace, then Yukimura will do everything to find one for himself.  
The idea of not having to worry about the Sanada Clan, Tokugawa Ieyatsu, becoming the Shogun and his feelings about Sasuke, fills Yukimura with determination.  
Because everyone deserves to have a place that they can call ▒Sanctuary▓.

After Yukimura has gone, Sasuke slowly opens his eyes, wondering what his master wanted. It was odd - Yukimura had not said a word - had not drunk sake, had not annoyed him in the slightest┘ Had touched his face in such a caring manner. Almost like he was trying to prove that everything he has been saying is true, even though he believed Sasuke to be asleep.  
All thoughts of the encounter are lost as the beauty of his surrounds enthrals him again, commanding his full attention, which he happily gives.  
Because the whole point of Sasuke▓s sanctuary is to distract himself from Sanada Yukimura.

* * *

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Chapter 10**

**Edit: Fixed the slight glitch where Kotarou is mentioned as being alive, added more to the Kotarou spech (hopefully made it make more sense!)**


	12. Chapter Eleven: Forgiveness

Chapter 11

Forgiveness?

"Saizo." Although his voice is quiet and Saizo only just hears it, the sound freezes him in his tracks. Turning around to make sure that it _is _Sasuke talking to him, Saizo is surprised. After all - the kid hasn't started a conversation with any of the Jyuuyuushi since he went blind all those months ago.

Even though Saizo actually has stuff to deal with (a new mission from Yukimura that will take him away for a couple of days), he chooses to ignore them in favour of talking with Sasuke. If he is willing to come to Saizo to talk, then maybe, just maybe, he's beginning to understand.

"Yes, Sasuke?" Saizo prompts, shooting a look at Kosuke who can only be decided as hovering in the entrance to the buildings, watching the two talk in the courtyard.

"I…I" Sasuke starts, staring at the ground, his eyes closed, before sharply turning his head to one side: his stubborn pose. "Thanks." It is said as fast as possible. "For yesterday."

"_He__'__s my master. I can__'__t disappoint him again, so whatever he needs - regardless of myself - whatever he needs, I shall give him. He already has my life, so I can only off my body__…"__ The blind boy sops, thinking about how badly damaged his body is __"__And even that__…"_

"_Is more than he is asking of any of the Sanada Jyuuyuushi.__"__ Saizo__'__s firm, but gentle voice stops him. __"__We are his guards, yes - but we are also his companions, his family, to go so far. If he wanted slaves, he would have bought us and treated us like them.__"_

_A good ten minutes silence passes and finally Saizo turns to leave, disappointed that he got no reaction, but a tiny, almost inaudible __"__Thank you__"__ Makes him pause for a second. _

Saizo blinks a few times before laughing loudly.

His reactions confuses Sasuke for a second, but quickly realises that it is just Saizo's way of dealing with a situation like this, and so, Sasuke smiles slightly as well.

Saizo looks at Sasuke with a smile, relieved that Sasuke finally accepts that the Jyuuyuushi are his family, no matter what.

'_Family__…'_Sasuke thinks, noticing Saizo's presence moving further away. He's been doing a great deal of thinking since the talk he had with Saizo, completely alone. Akira and Hotaru realised that he needed to think over whatever had been said, so they all found convenient jobs to do that would take them out of the way. They told the others where Sasuke was going when he went to his Sanctuary, but Yukimura seemed to ignore that fact. But then, judging by Sasuke's attitude when he came back, Yukimura had not disturbed him.

For the first time in years, Sasuke felt alone.

Sure he'd been left alone many times before, but there had always been people dropping in and chatting with him every so often.

But no one had. Apart from Yukimura, and well, that was just a bit too _odd_ for Sasuke to think about. Apart from Yukimura, no one had come near him, and it reminded him of the years in Aokigahara, but worse because now Kotarou is _**dead**_ and he wont ever come back.

It made him realise how much the people here mean to him.

That thought scared and horrified Sasuke.

He _**depended**_on people.

Dependency has always been something he has tired to avoid, because it would make vulnerable and that would you make. You could be betrayed or they could be used against you or so many other things. Also, he never noticed it before. When did he become dependant on people?

However, the more the thought about depending on these people - The Jyuuyuushi, Akira and Hotaru, Yukimura - the less it horrified him and he just accepted that it had happened and he cannot do anything about it.

Not that he wants to. It makes him feel…safe.

Wanted.

He has a family.

'_Who__…__treat me like a human. Could I__…__Could I actually be something more than a failed experiment? Yukimura he__…__He says anything to cheer people up!__'_

Sasuke's in the training grounds now, twirling Shibien through a complex dance that flows like water and is one that Sasuke knows so well he could do it asleep.

'_But Akira. And Hotaru. They both__…__And the Jyuuyuushi._

_Could I have been__…__wrong?__'_

-

"Yukimura-Sama, is it sensible to send so many Jyuuyuushi on this mission? There have been many more assassination attempts lately and I am worried that only four Jyuuyuushi will not be enough to protect you." Saizo says, looking up from his bowed position.

Yukimura - who is sitting in the middle of the room and is deep in thought. "Hmmm."

His answer is not exactly helpful. "I can deal with a few Tokugawa soldiers Saizo."

"Yes my Lord, but you are still injured."

Yukimura looks at his shoulder which _is _still painful. Holding a sword is something that Yukimura has been avoiding…

"I'm sure that Sasuke, Unno Rokuro and Kakei Juzou (1) will be able to deal with them. Akira-San and Hotaru-San area also here and will no doubt help if we need it."

Saizo still looks slightly troubled but drops the matter. "Yes, Yukimura-Sama."

-

The next few month flew by at Mount Kudo. With the influx of Tokugawa soldiers and assassins attacking, all of the Jyuuyuushi found themselves having to be extra careful in protecting Yukimura whenever he went out drinking.

Sasuke had been the busiest by far however.

In-between doing missions for Yukimura, the still-blind teenager had to balance normal training and his special training with Akira and Hotaru.

And his eye-sight is nearly back.

When he opens his yellow eyes now, there are colours. Vague greens, blues reds and muddy orangey-browns. But all shapes are blurred and the poor kid has terrible migraines if he has his eyes open for too long.

Currently Sasuke and Saizo are on a mission to Aokigahara - apparently there has been a lot of unwanted action from the inhabitants. You'd think that Aokigahara was big enough for them, but apparently they think differently and have been trying to destroy any villages close.

So thus would explain why Sasuke has been surrounded by large evil looking inhabitants.

Saizo has been draw to the side of the clearing - he has his own gang to deal with.

Compared to Akira, these brutes may as well have been screaming their moves to Sasuke, they are so easy to read. With his eyes closed he begins to move - Shibien quivering, howling with every cut, every slash, every drop of blood.

He dodges their pathetic attempts to kill him, amazed at how much he feels like water; constantly flowing, weaving, spinning, jumping.

He feels invincible.

But he's only mortal, and can be hurt.

Saizo quickly disposes of his enemies; there were only three, unlike Sasuke who has seven to deal with.

However, within a couple of minutes, Sasuke's opponents have dropped to only three. But these are the strongest Aokigahara inhabitants he's had to face.

All of his senses kick into overdrive as his eyes open - very wide, trying to give him as much help as possible.

Sasuke quickly dodges an attack and suddenly the fuzziness in his vision sharpens. The outlines of everything around him becomes more in-focus and he can nearly see again.

And they attack.

Saizo knows better than to interfere unless Sasuke really needs the help, so he just watches as his friend fight, Sasuke's small body darting around, his blade crackling with electricity.

The fight continues, neither side scoring any really damage on the other, until suddenly, Sasuke's eyes feel like they have had long splinters shoved in them. The battle has dragged on too long and now his eyes cannot cope with the fast movements of the battle.

As soon as his eyes shut, darkness closes around him again and his hearing and ability to sense thing double.

But it is too late.

The Aokigahara trio started to move as soon as Sasuke staggered from the pain. The thirteen (nearly fourteen) year-old could only deflect two of the attacks. The third lance pierced Sasuke's leg, going all the way though, pinning Sasuke to the leaf covered ground.

At which point Saizo joins in the fight by distracting the Aokigahara inhabitants with a number of attacks. Now, a normal ninja would let his companion help. Unfortunately this is Sasuke we're talking about. A Sasuke with Shibien which loves retribution.

Yanking the lance out of his flesh, Sasuke stands, so full of adrenaline that he cannot feel pain and he raises his sword.

The sword that is whispering death in the ears of all around.

"Saizo." Sasuke's voice is scarily calm. "Run."

Without a second thought Saizo jumps, landing in a tree, trying to get as far away from that area as possible before Sasuke attacks.

He doesn't have to wait long.

The storm clouds roll in, thunder and lightning deafening and blinding all living creatures in the cursed forest. Then, the largest bolt strikes down, straight into the clearing and the entire area explodes.

The echoing cry of "Raikoken!" resonates for a few seconds and then, there is silence.

Saizo - who had been knocked flat by the force of the attack, quickly gets up and races to where he had left Sasuke.  
Sarutobi Sasuke, the strongest ninja, former inhabitants of Aokigahara, current Sanada Jyuuyuushi and only thirteen-years-old, is standing in the middle of a war zone. There are trees burning all around him, collapsing and screaming in protest as they smash on the floor, sending sparks flying. His hands have been shoved in his pockets, Shibien re-sheathed, content for now. The first main point about the boy is, however, a black blind-fold that he has wrapped around his head, protecting his eyes. The second is his leg, which is covered in so much blood.

Sasuke grins weakly at Saizo when he gets closer and mutter a small "Thanks" when Saizo slips an arm under Sasuke's shoulder and helps him limp out of Aokigahara.

-

Yukimura doesn't know what to think. He hears that Sasuke and Saizo are back from Aokigahara and then suddenly, there is chaos.

Jyuuyuushi are fighting intruders in the courtyard, Saizo is helping to aid Sasuke to walk because it would seem that Sasuke is bleeding badly from the leg. The blood has seeped through all of the bandages that Kotarou wrapped around the wound.

Yukimura thinks he can also see a minor fire on one of the roofs, but decides that he really can't be bothered to do anything about it because it is all so **loud**and he is hung over.

As he watches Kosuke re-bandage Sasuke's leg after treating it, Yukimura sits down by his Ninja's head and removes the blind-fold carefully, relived when he sees that Sasuke doesn't have any more injuries.

The poor kid passes out from blood loss the moment they set foot inside his room.

After Yukimura tenderly pushes Sasuke's hair out of his eyes, he stands and turns to Saizo, who has been tending to his own minor injuries. "Report?" Yukimura asks, sitting down and gesturing for Saizo to do the same.

Saizo starts to explain, going into detail what happened in Aokigahara and why Sasuke has a blindfold on - It helps his eyes recover faster from being over-used. When Saizo is finished Yukimura thanks him and sends him off to the kitchens for some food.

Once everyone has left, Yukimura turns to fact the unconscious Sasuke and begins to think.

'_Ever since he came back from run__…__running away from here, he__'__s been distancing himself from the other Jyuuyuushi. Only talked to Saizo, Akira and Hotaru.__'_Yukimura's hand unconsciously entangles itself in his hair, the other behind him so that Yukimura is staring at the ceiling. _'__But then__…__He suddenly became like he was a year ago - before any of this happened. What changed?__'_

A sigh escapes Yukimura's lips, which happen to be tingling slightly. He brings the hand down from his hair to rest the fingers against his lips. _'__In the forest__…__I shouldn__'__t have done that.__'_"I was a fool…"

"You finally admitting it?" Sasuke's voice takes him by surprise, but Yukimura just closes his eyes and smiles, laughing slightly.

"I'll admit it if you admit that you really do care about me and my well-being, Sasuke-kun!" You can just hear the heart at the end of that sentence.

"Don't call that damn it!" Sasuke turns his head away stubbornly muttering "And I'll only say…**that**, if you admit that you're stupid and a bother to protect."

Sasuke's loud protests and reasons why Yukimura should stop hugging him and the general bickering between Yukimura and Sasuke can be heard all around Mount Kudo, and it brings a smile to everyone's faces, because the Jyuuyuushi know things are going back to normal.

-

Yukimura isn't in his room.

In fact, Kosuke told Sasuke that, apart from the fact that he should be resting, Yukimura had left a few hours ago to "go to a tea-house".

Which translates to "He went out drinking and flirting,".

And this…This has caused unwanted **feelings**to surface within Sasuke.

He supposes that he's being stupid. So what, Yukimura has been spending time with him over the last few days. So what, Yukimura kissed him. Yukimura kisses a lot of people and none of them matter.

Yukimura's always been like this, and yet…Sasuke doesn't understand why he feels like he's being used. Like he wants Yukimura to change. _**And he doesn**__**'**__**t understand why.**_

He wants to talk to Yukimura, and yet, he nothing to say. Sorry? For running away? He's not sorry anymore. It gave him a chance to become stronger.

For being so antisocial all of those months ago?

_Hmph I don__'__t need to say sorry.__'_He thinks, laying on a tree, his arms pillowed behind his head, wounded leg hanging off the branch, throbbing dully.

'_I guess I__'__ll just go and talk to him when he gets back. If he__'__s not too drunk.__'_

He's not worried that Yukimura will have someone with him - not once has Yukimura brought someone back to Mount Kudo. And there have been a lot of people.

As he stares up at the blurry, almost painfully blue sky, he realises that he does not know what time it is, or how long he's been laying in the forest. But after a while, time does not matter to him as he relaxes. He still stays alert and Shibien is hidden in the leaves above his arms in case anyone thinks he will be an easy target. Sasuke figures that he can stay out until it starts to get dark, and the head back. It's not like anything will happen in which he is needed desperately.

Laying there, in the forest, near the sky, Sasuke realises that he feels so warm and comfortable that he is about to fall asleep. Of course, by the time realises, he is already drifting off and decides that it is a great idea to throw all sensibility out of the window and just sleep.

He doesn't even notice that dart that has been blown into his leg. But then, that could be due to the heavy sedative that the dart was holding, which has now completely taken over his system.

As the sun sets over the forest, there is no trace that Sasuke has ever been there, apart from Shibien, who is still hidden above where his master had been. Shibien is shaking - he wanted to taste the blood of the Tokugawa who kidnapped the one person Shibien wants to taste the most.

* * *

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Eleven, the start of a new Ark._**


	13. Chapter Twelve: Memories

**Chapter 12 - Memories**.

A jagged exhale is the first thing that alerts the rat that the human is awake. A second later the teenager groans, his head turning to one side.

Pain.

He can feel pain. And not a lot else - his head is pounding and he feels like a large spike has been driven into his brain and is now thumping from one side to another. Each thump echoes the pain that stems from his many wounds.

The most noticeable wound would have to be the one on his leg that he got during the Aokigahara fight. The memory of the spear driving through his leg flashes quickly into his mind, before the pain takes over again. Sasuke is pretty sure that the wound has not been bandaged, so part of his mind whispers that it will infect.

Suddenly he realises that the pain in his shoulders is also quite bad. They feel like they are being ripped out of their socket and his arms are screaming with the strain as well. Groaning faintly, Sasuke tries to work out what is wrong while keeping his eyes closed - He tries to bring his hands up to his head to try and stop the pain there, but as soon as he tries to he realises that something is not quite right.

Like the fact that he's chained spread eagle to a wall.

His arms have been strapped to the wall tightly with metal - he can feel it digging into his wrists and upper arms. When he tries to move his fingers excruciating pain flares up his arms, making him nearly cry out.

All of his fingers have been broken.

Gasping in pain, Sasuke fights back nausea. Carefully - after the pain recedes to just feeling like his fingers have been cut off, Sasuke tries to move his arms to break the metal, only to find that the chains that have been wrapped around his arms circle his neck and if he tries to move his arms he suffocates.

Opening his eyes slowly, Sasuke hopes that he really **cannot **feel a blindfold tied around his head. No such luck. Fortunately his eyes are not hurting as bad as the rest of his body otherwise Sasuke would probably pass out. Again.

"Fuck!" He snarls, realising that - even if his legs had not been chained to the wall, there would ve no way he could possibly escape. Not in his current condition.

Giving up on the idea of escaping for now, Sasuke turns his attention to his surroundings. He can hear the faint dripping of water onto stone - which tells him that he is in a stone cell, which will get very cold at night, if he's not mistaken. Also, the sound of water dripping onto moss tells him that there must be a source of light somewhere near - the moss would need light to grow.

'_I can smell__…__bread?__'_He frowns at the thought. _'__Is there food in here? Damn it I wish I could see!__'_

A squeak alerts him to the rat that has been nibbling on the food on the floor in front of the chained teenager.

Putting his training with Akira to good use, Sasuke is able to figure out that his cell is just about large enough to hold three people in it. Straining his senses, he can just about make out the presence of three guards at the end of a passage beyond his cell.

Slumping in his chains, Sasuke hangs his head wishing that he could think of some way to escape, however unluckily for him, his chains have been clinking around quite a lot and the guards were alerted.

"Hey, the Jyuuyuushi brat's awake! Go and get Hitetada-Sama." On of the guards says, pushing the younger up the stairs that lead out of the dungeon.

"Hitetada-Sama? Shouldn't I - "

"No! He said to be told as soon as this brat woke up, so get going!" The older guard yells, pushing his younger companion even further up the stairs

With a final "Fine." The guard scampers off to get Hitetada.

The other two remaining guards look at each other and then grin, making their way down to Sasuke's cell.

"Hey brat, you understand what I'm saying?" The first guard says, looking at the immobile teenager.

The second guard laughs. "Yeah, 'cause I heard that you're a Thing from Aokigahara, so you ain't nothing more than a blood thirsty demon! You ain't got no idea of what us _normal _people do."

Sasuke twitches slightly, but refuses to retaliate, because that can only lead to punishments.

Suddenly, this whole situation reminds him of when he first joined the Sanada Jyuuyuushi.

"_Yukimura-Sama! There__'__s a - ! There__'__s a -!__"__ Saizo spluttered, eyes opened wide and his arm pointed towards Yukimura__'__s tent. Yukimura himself was causally sipping from a cup of green tea when he looked at where Saizo was pointing. He instantly brightened and yelled, __"__Sasuke!__"__. He got to his feet and started to make his way over to the terrified boy, who had somehow managed to find a kunai and was holding the weapon is a death grip._

"_Sasuke?!__"__ Saizo yelled._

_Yukimura raised a finger to his lips and shushed Saizo. __"__Yes, this is Sasuke. Now, he is Sarutobi Sasuke.__"__ His tone was just daring Saizo to make a comment._

_Luckily Saizo was just stunned that Yukimura replaced their old friend with this __**boy**__._

_After Yukimura had calmed Sasuke down and removed the very pointy object, he began to introduce him to the other Jyuuyuushi around the camp, but half an hour later, Sasuke was on his own while Yukimura took a nap._

_And the Jyuuyuushi were talking._

_Some of them were very sceptical about having such a young kid protecting their Lord._

_Others (_**Saizo**_**) **__were angry. Their Lord has replaced their old friend with some young boy from Aokigahara who they knew nothing about?!_

_The conversations were not kept a secret from the kid, who was sitting nearer the camp fire. Sasuke had heard all of the comments and realised that he was not welcome here. _'No surprise.' _He thought angrily, his fists clenched. _'I'm an inhabitant of Aokigahara. I've never been welcome anywhere.' _The feeling of loneliness washed over him and Sasuke started into the forest over the fire, wishing that Kotarou had been there so that he didn__'__t feel so alone, so unwanted._

"He isn't human, is he? I mean, yellow eyes? White hair?" _A particularly loud comment causes Sasuke to puncture the skin on his palms with his nails. _'Not human. What am I then…?'_ The very young boy sighed, his form slumped and started to think about what the hell he was doing with _**humans**_._

"Hey Brat I'm talking to you! Pay attention!" The guard's voice snaps him out of his memory. Sasuke turns his head to face in the general direction of the guards, careful as to not get the chain any tighter.

"Typical. It has no manners."

Something like anger burns through his body, wiping out the pain of the wounds momentarily.

Both the guards laugh and open the cell door, about to go in when they can hear the footsteps echoing down the stairs. They quickly close the door and stand back, waiting for their Lord to reach them.

When Benitora finally gets to see Sasuke, he is slightly horrified at the condition his young friend is in, but it is hidden behind a mask of indifference.

Sasuke is able to sense Benitora - the man makes no attempt to hide his presence.

"Sarutobi Sasuke of the Jyuuyuushi, do you know who I am?" His voice is commanding, a true Shogun .

'_So you want to pretend while the guards are here, huh?__'_Sasuke thinks, not bothering to reply. _'__Let__'__s make this fun.__'_

"Show some respect!" One of the guards yells furiously.

Putting a hand up, Benitora turns away from his prisoner to face the guards. "Leave. Stand outside until I say so, and do not let anyone in."

The three guards bow at Benitora and look at each other as they leave, taking their positions outside the door to the dungeon.

The creaking of the cell door is the only noise that fills the cell. Once Benitora is inside, he reaches up and carefully removes Sasuke's blindfold.

Stepping away, Benitora waits for Sasuke to do something.

After his closed eyes have adjusted to the light, he slowly opens them, realising that all he can see is a figure - standing in full colour, but nothing else. Nothing is clear; where the colours start and stop, where any of the body parts are, anything. If Sasuke couldn't sense that it was Benitora he would not have been able to tell from sight.

"Hey Kid." Benitora says, not aware that Sasuke is actually partially blind.

And Sasuke tells himself that he should really stop referring to him as Benitora.

It's Hitetada.

"_What it just slipped your mind?!__"__ Sasuke yelled, his grip on his ken-dama so tight the poor toy might actually crack. __"__You just forgot to mention that one of my friends was actually the son of our enemy? He now __**rules **__Japan, Yukimura and I have to fight against him!__"_

_Saizo frowns. __"__Have more respect Sasuke. I understand that you are - __"_

"_No you don__'__t!__"__ Sasuke yelled, finally throwing his ken-dama at the wall with a crash. __"__Are all of my friends going to become my enemies?!__"_

_Yukimura, who had been looking slightly care-free and light hearted, quickly became very serious and quiet. __"__I__'__m sorry Sasuke.__"_

_The young ninja turns to his Lord. __"__Sorry?__"_

_Yukimura nods __"__I should have told you Benitora__'__s real identity sooner.__"__ He moved forward so that he could place his hands on Sasuke__'__s shoulders and stared down at his Sasuke. __"__But I need to know now that you will fight with me against Hitetada.__"_

_Tuning his head away Sasuke frowns. __"__You don__'__t have to ask, stupid. I__'__ll never leave you and I__'__ll always fight for you.__"_

"_What about __**with**__ me?__"_

_Sasuke says nothing._

_Sighing lightly, Yukimura places his forehead on the top of Sasuke__'__s head. __"__I wont become your enemy Sasuke. I__'__ll always be your friend.__"_

'_And if I wanted you to be more than a friend?__'__ The thought faded almost as soon as it came to Sasuke. Sighing, the boy just stood there in his Master__'__s arms._

"I'm sorry." Benitora's voice is soft and actually sounds like he could mean it.

Licking his dry lips, Sasuke swallows in an attempt to gather enough moisture to allow him to talk. "For…For what?" His voice, although a little raspy holds scorn. "Kidnapping me, chaining me to a wall, sending more assassins to kill my Master, or not telling me who you really are?"

Benitora shrugs and watches sadly as Sasuke's eyes close again. "I'll try and make a deal with Yukimura, you know."

Sasuke says nothing, but has the feeling that Yukimura would settle for nothing less than complete rule.

"You're very valuable. You are one of the Jyuuyuushi, and probably know some of Yukimura's plans." Benitora seems to be suggesting something here.

"I'm not going to say anything, if you think that you can torture me for information." Sasuke says shortly, annoyed.

Benitora just smiles slightly. "I wouldn't. You don't trust me, do you?"

"Sort of hard to, when I'm chained to your wall, all of my fingers broken by you're men."

The smile fades. "I am sorry Sasuke. I didn't know that my men had captured you until they brought you back, and by then it was too late to stop them from hurting you."

Sasuke laughs shallowly. "And the chains?"

"I can't seem soft on an enemy, can I?"

Sasuke has to admit that Benitora is right there. "Thanks for telling me."

Benitora isn't actually as stupid as he seems, so he knows what Sasuke is talking about. "I never really had the right time to tell you. And anyway, I thought you would have made some connection when I got Hokurakushimon."

Glaring at Benitora, Sasuke know that he really should have been paying more attention to 'Tora's fight, but somehow the large Mibu assassin that kept on turning invisible and trying to kill him had his attention more.

He just 'Hmphs', but looks a little sad. "You know…Yukimura wont accept any deals you make. You can't use me to get to him. As I always say; he can just replace Sarutobi Sasuke."

Benitora says nothing, but turns to walk away. "Sasuke, how long do you think you've been here for?"

About to answer 'Only a day', Sasuke pauses as he tries to figure out just how long he's been hanging there. He thought that it had only been a day or so, but when he thinks about it, the journey to Edo takes a few days at best. And he has no memories of anything after laying down in the forest, waiting for Yukimura to get back from drinking so they could talk about…something.

When Benitora gets no answer he murmurs a very soft "Sorry." before walking away from his once-friend.

Sasuke's voice makes him falter. "H-has any…" Sasuke stops, frowning even more.

How could he ask that? _'__Has anyone come after me?__'_It would make him seem…**feel** weak.

'_I know that I depend on people, but __**seriously**__. I__'__m acting like a child!__'_But he's slightly afraid. Of course he is. Even though he is such a feared warrior he is only thirteen and no matter what he does, there will always be a tiny (so small that he can just pretend that it is not there) part of his mind that has grown fond of Yukimura's protectiveness and the comfort and all of the things that a normal teenager would want.

Of course he is afraid of being abandoned, thrown away and replaced. So if no one tries to rescue him…

'_No, Yukimura won__'__t replace me just because I__'__ve suddenly disappeared. It__'__s not like last time; it__'__s not like I__'__ve betrayed him.__'_

'_But you have before. What makes this time any different from the last? Even if you explain that you were kidnapped, how will he be able to trust you? You probably will tell the Tokugawa__'__s everything they want. Stupid really, for Yukimura to trust a Thing like you.__'_

Sasuke flinches at the voice in his mind. The voice that tells him always that he is being stupid, that he is nothing, that he is worthless. It takes all of the bad things and does it's best to make Sasuke believe them.

The guards are back now and are arguing over who should feed Sasuke.

"You heard Hitetada-Sama, you feed the damn Jyuuyuushi!"

"Why should I have to? You can feed him - I'm not going to put my fingers anywhere near that Aokigahara Thing's mouth!"

"Does he even need to eat? I mean, do they normally eat bread? I thought it was humans they ate."

"Yeah! Hey, Jyuuyuushi are you going to eat that bread? Or should we find some meat for you to chew?"

"I still say he isn't hungry!"

"_Sasuke? Are you not hungry?__"__ Kosuke asked gently, looking at the ten year old._

_Sasuke shook his head once and pushed the bowl away from him._

_She sighed and finally sat down next to the youngest Jyuuyuushi. __"__You need to eat something, Sasuke. I know that you haven__'__t eaten anything since returning from Aokigahara two days ago.__"_

"_So?__"__ Sasuke muttered turning away from her._

_She shook her head and changed the topic. __"__How is your arm?__"_

_Sasuke looked down at his right arm, which had been bandaged._

"_It__'__s__…__fine.__"_

_She sighed one last time before getting up and moving away, leaving the boy behind._

"_Not hungry Sasuke?__"__ Sasuke started at Yukimura__'__s voice five minutes later. The Sanada moved up from behind the boy and ran a hand through his hair as he sat in the seat Kosuke had been in. __"__You really should eat something if you want to grow up big and strong like me.__"_

"_I__'__m not a kid.__"__ Sasuke glared at his Lord who just smiled happily._

"_So don__'__t act like on and eat.__"_

…_Damn his logic._

Hours have passed since Sasuke was finally fed and the guards have left him alone thankfully.

As he hangs in his chains, he has time to think about how he is going to escape.

With broken fingers he cannot perform any Ninjitsu, Shibien is gone - he thinks the cursed sword is still in the forest and Sasuke has had all potential weapons removed. Even if he could use his hands, the chains around his neck tighten and he chokes. Sasuke's legs are in no condition to go anywhere either.

Thanks to Benitora Sasuke is completely stuck.

If it had been anyone else who locked him up they probably wouldn't have done so much, but Benitora had become a good friend to Sasuke (Not that he would ever admit it, because that idiot's ego is as big enough as it is.) during their travels and fights together.

"But it means that he knows not to underestimate me."

"_What do you mean he wants to go to Aokigahara again? He was only there a few weeks ago!__"__ Yukimura said, obviously annoyed._

_Saizo looked decidedly uncomfortable. __"__He__'__s been very agitated recently and he says that his blood is racing. He just wants to fight.__"_

_Yukimura looked around the room and sighed in exasperation. __"__Can__'__t he just fight you?__"_

_Pride swelled in Saizo__'__s mind - Yukimura thought that he could fight Sasuke and Sasuke was very close to Yukimura__'__s standard, or so Yukimura said._

"_I guess he __**could **__fight me__…"_

_Sasuke, who had been listening in snarled soundlessly. __'__I should be allowed to go to Aokigahara if I want.__'__ He paused and looked back at his Lord. __'__ But I wont go if he tells me not to.__'__ A grin spread across the ninja__'__s face. __'__But a chance to go all-out against Saizo should be very fun.__'__ Sasuke snuck away quietly, already forming ideas on how to beat Saizo._

_When their fight took place, only Yukimura watched._

_And Saizo hadn__'__t been that scared in a long time. Sasuke had been vicious. He never relented and really gave Saizo a hammering, consequences be damned._

_Anyway, Saizo should not have underestimated him. Saizo had thought that he would able to fight against Sasuke easily. He just never realised that the boy had such a violent rage - even against friends. But what scared Saizo the most was the fact that Sasuke was holding back. He never used Raikoken and he never followed through on the attacks that would do mortal damage. That didn__'__t mean that Sasuke wouldn__'__t inflict pain._

_Yukimura only stepped in when he realised that Sasuke was so far gone in his battle lust that the boy couldn__'__t see that another round would be the end of Saizo._

_As soon as he had entered the fight, Sasuke left Saizo and focused his attacks completely on Yukimura._

_And they fought until Yukimura kicked Shibien away from Sasuke and pinned the young boy to the ground._

"_Enough Sasuke.__"__ his voice was breathless from the fighting, although, unless Sasuke stopped writhing around like that, Yukimura was positive that he would be breathless for a whole different reason._

_Luckily (Yeah right!) for him, Sasuke did stop moving, but only because he was so tired he had fallen asleep there under Yukimura._

Sighing, Sasuke raises his head and looks around with his eyes open. At least Benitora had let him use his eyes again.

From the darkness that he is met with, Sasuke assumes it is night and wonders if anyone back at Mount Kudo has noticed that he has been gone.

'_Shouldn__'__t think about stuff like that. I can__'__t rely on others to get me out of my own problems.__'_He thinks, closing his eyes again. _'__But I wish I had Kotarou to talk to.__'_

_The two youngsters went running though the forest together, the one with blond hair just in front of the smaller boy with white/blue hair. They reached a large tree and without a pause both pushed off the ground and into the branches, scaling the tree with immense speed._

_When they finally reached the crown, the younger sat down exhausted. __"__Kotarou! Give it back to me!__"__ The laughter in his voice is clear._

_Kotarou remained standing and smiled down at his friend. __"__Sure.__"__ He threw the apple at Sasuke, who caught it with ease._

_As the day faded to night, the pair were still sitting in their tree, just watching the tops of the trees and the occasional fight that would make it over the canopy._

_The two Aokigahara inhabitants would chat about the most mundane things, but never felt bored._

'_I don__'__t like being this alone.__'_Sasuke thinks slowly, not really wanting to accept the fact.

Rapid images of the Jyuuyuushi training, Akira telling Hotaru off, Hotaru attack Akira, Yukimura drinking, - Staring up at Yukimura for the first time, hesitantly accepting his hand -

Thinking that he would die for Yukimura, millions of times.

_The horrific pain spread up his body, icy-fire burned up his chest from the two arrows that where stuck in his side. He refused to go to his knees, because he had to protect Yukimura. Even if he died, he would protect Yukimura._

_As the electricity crackled around him, a few more drops of blood fell from Sasuke__'__s mouth, Shibien stuck firmly through his own chest to get the bastard behind him. The world faded as Sasuke closed his eyes, expecting never to open them again. He saw Yukimura__'__s smiling face. __"__Yukimura__…__You and I defiantly live in different worlds.__"__ His head fell forwards and he smiled sadly. __"__I__…__I don__'__t have the right to fight alongside of you__…__Yukimura__…__Sorry__…"__ And everything exploded. _

Mahiro and 'Tora never told him exactly what happened after the explosion. But Sasuke still has the large scar on his chest and back.

Sighing, Sasuke lets his head roll forward and he dives back into his memories to escape his loneliness.

* * *

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Twelve, one of my favourites._**


	14. Chapte Thirteen: When The Body Moves

* * *

Chapter 13

-When The Body Moves Faster Than The Mind. -

Five days after Sasuke goes missing, Yukimura realises.

Which is why he is standing in front of Saizo, just waiting for the Jyuuyuushi to break and tell everything.

The only problem with this plan is that Saizo actually knows nothing more than the idea that Sasuke was in the woods before he disappeared. Akira and Hotaru just _knew _that Yukimura would go straight to for Saizo when he noticed that Sasuke was not around, so the deliberately told him as little as possible.

"So, Saizo." Yukimura's cheerful tone makes Saizo flinch. "I've noticed that Sasuke hasn't been around lately." _'__Nor has Shibien and that cursed sword is always with Sasuke.__'_"So I wanted to know if you have seen him."

Keeping his eyes down, Saizo almost wishes that he wasn't so completely devoted to Yukimura. "I have not Yukimura-sama, but Ak-" He pauses and wonders if he should say anything about Akira and Hotaru going into the forest, but before he can make up his mind his mouth is moving. "-ira and Hotaru have gone to look around the last place they know Sasuke was."

"**And no one told me?**" Saizo hates it when Yukimura uses that voice - it makes him feel like Yukimura wants to break something.

"Yukimura-sama, you were very busy" _'__Hung over__…'_Saizo says slowly, trying his hardest to not get in trouble with Yukimura.

Drawing in a ragged breath, Yukimura turns away and puts a hand to his temples, angry that he wasn't told sooner. He is also angry at Sasuke for suddenly disappearing, but also worried - what if something bad has happened?

And confused because Sasuke has apparently just left. No word to Akira and Hotaru, no word to anyone.

'_Nothing has happened to him to make him want to run away. I__'__ve been keeping my eye on him.__'_

Waving Saizo away, Yukimura slides the door to the outside open and slowly walks into the sunlight.

'_Sasuke__…__Where__…'_Yukimura looks out at the view Mount Kudo gives. _'__Where have you gone?__'_

-

"Here." Akira says softly, coming to a halt in what looks like a normal patch of woodland.

Hotaru stops instantly and looks around, searching for the exact location of Shibien.

Akira closes his eyes and turns slowly waiting for the evil aura to pull him in the right direction.

Finally they find Shibien.

Hidden and mostly forgotten, the last Muramasa Muramasa made appears to be angry. The two stand on the branches around the sword in silence, until Hotaru breaks it. "So he isn't here."

"Where would that put him then? And without his sword?" Akira muses, not at all happy with the situation.

"He hasn't run away." Hotaru says confidently. "If he had, he would have taken Shibien."

The other two nod.

"Okay. We will split up and search the area for what happened here." Akira says and Hotaru feels the urge to make about _looking _for something, but decides that he likes all of his ribs not-broken.

After ten minutes of searching the area for what happened, Akira finally finds something that tells him where Sasuke has gone.

Hotaru isn't impressed. "It's a feather."

Akira nods to confirm this, but then murmurs "I've seen the Tokugawa Ninja's use them before. They are from the darts. Each substance the dart is covered in is labelled by a different type of feather. This was a dart with sedatives on it."

Realisation instantly dawns on the duo, but their bodies have already started to take them back to Mount Kudo.

-

"…"The lack of response from Yukimura is seriously disturbing Saizo.

It would appear to have no effect on Akira, who is calmly sipping his tea, although really his mind is working very hard trying to figure out a way to bring Sasuke back.

And no one expects Hotaru to be paying attention (apart from Akira), let alone be disturbed by Yukimura's silence. (And just to say he **is **paying attention. Hey - even he has to be serious some of the time!)

Before Saizo can ask a question, Kosuke bursts into the room. "Yukimura-sama forgive me please, but a large number of Tokugawa troops have been sighted advancing on Mount Kudo and the surrounding towns!"

"How many?"

"At least three thousand Lord!"

Taken aback Saizo nearly yells "Three thousand?!" But it comes out as more of a squeak.

Hotaru is looking at Saizo with a slightly disturbed expression because he did not know that a man could make a squeak like that.

Akira again stays calm and unsurprising unaffected by the news.

But Yukimura looks **furious**.

First _**his **_Sasuke gets kidnapped, and now they dare to try and attack _**his **_home?

"Get all of the Jyuuyuushi. I don't care where they are, or what they're doing, get them back here. Assemble one third of our troops and put thirty more guards in all of the threatened towns." It are times like these where people can see why Yukimura is known as a gifted general.

'_I__…__I__'__m sorry, Sasuke__…'_

-

One day ago

Sasuke groaned as he woke to the guards (who he wanted to rip apart limb by limb) who were banging on the cell bars.

"Hitetada-sama wants to talk to you."

He made a noise of disgust, then raised his head to stare blankly at where the guards should have been.

The loud clang of the door as it opened did not effect Sasuke, nor did Hitetada's harsh voice commanding the guards to leave.

As soon as they had gone, Benitora sighed. "How the hell did you manage to blind yourself kid?"

Positively glowering Sasuke refused to answer.

"You know, unless you admit to being blind I'll have to keep a blind-fold on you. An' that would slow down the healing process, according to my healers."

He sighed in annoyance when he got no answer and Benitora muttered "Now I remember why I call you a brat."

"What do you want?" Sasuke rasped. They didn't exactly give him enough water.

Serious now, Benitora looked away. "Tomorrow a large number of my troops are suppose to march upon Mount Kudo and the surrounding towns. If you tell me how many Jyuuyuushi are currently there I can get your fingers fixed."

"You what?!" Sasuke yelled, thrashing around in his restraints. "You expect me to sell out the Jyuuyuushi just to stop a bit of pain?!"

Looking at the struggling teenager 'Tora realised that Sasuke would never betray the Jyuuyuushi, or more importantly, Sanada Yukimura.

Now the thing was, despite the fact that Benitora was technically Tokugawa Hitetada and Sarutobi Sasuke was one of the guards of the Tokuagwa's most feared enemy, Benitora hated to see his little friend in pain.

'_If his fingers aren__'__t set, they__'__ll be useless and Sasuke wont be able to perform hand seals, let alone hold Shibien. He wont be able to fight. And yet__…__He know that that will happen and he still wont say anything about the Jyuuyuushi.__'_

"What will Yukimura do, when he finds out about this attack?"

"He'll kill everyone there! Even if he was on his own he's still beat you!" Sasuke yelled, wishing so badly that he could hurt the man in front of him.

Benitora smirked and stood up. "Well, I guess that could count as information. I know that he will kill my troops. Although I am _reaaaly _not happy about it, it's good enough information for me. Yup, I'll go get my healer to look at your hands."

"What?" Sasuke's tone was incredulous. "You expect me to believe that?"

When 'Tora confirmed it, Sasuke thought '_That was almost a Yukimura-type thing to do. And I can__'__t complain__…__he didn__'__t make me say anything and yet he__'__s going to and help me.__'_

Benitora grinned evilly at Sasuke. "Hey, brat. You know…" He paused and shook his head and then his grin changed to something much more happy grin. "Have you felt Shibien around here?"

Benitora loved getting the last word against Sasuke, so he left the cell happy to see that Sasuke actually looked lost for words.

''_Tora really isn__'__t a bad guy.__'_

-

Present Time

"How long until the Tokugawa's reach the first town?"

"Where is Jinpachi?"

Where the **hell **is Sasuke?!"

Mount Kudo has become an incredibly chaotic place, with the preparations for the upcoming battle.

Everybody had got a job to do and no one complains because Yukimura is in such a bad mood.

The Jyuuyuushi are worried; he is hiding his problems underneath the preparations. Never stopping, he completes one task after another, just waiting for the battle to start so he can show the Tokugawa's what happens when they try to attack the Sanadas.

"Yukimura-sama! An embassy from Tokugawa Hitetada is requesting an audience with you!" Saizo says breathlessly, waiting for an answer.

After a short pause Yukimura asks "Is it specifically requesting me, or can I send a delegate?"

"It is directed at you, Yukimura-sama."

Frowning, Yukimura pulls on his gauntlets. "How many Jyuuyuushi are at Mount Kudo right now?"

"Four including myself. There is Kosuke, Rokuro and Isa. Jinpachi should be getting back here very soon though." Saizo reports calmly.

"Okay. Get ready to come out with myself. Make sure that Seikai, Kamanosuke, Unno and Juzo get here as soon as possible." Yukimura says, leaving to round up some troop to join the embassy party.

On the way to the arranged meeting point, Yukimura turns to Saizo. "If they try to attack, you will call your fog down so that we can retreat back without any fighting. These soldiers will be deployed around the town to ensure the people's safety/"

Saizo nods, but looks troubled. "Why can't we kill them Yukimura-sama?"

"Because then they will have a solid reason to attack us. At the moment they have no engaged in any fighting and nor have we. If we kill the first soldier thy will call it self defence when they attack, which is why we cannot kill them yet."

When they finally reach the town which has been designated the meeting point, Yukimura is only slightly surprised to see Tokugawa Hitetada himself there.

"Sanada Yukimura."

"Tokugawa Hitetada."

Both Generals greet each other stiffly.

"You are moving your troops close to Mount Kudo." Yukimura states calmly.

"There are some people opposing the Tokugawa rule in these parts." Hitetada replies just as calm.

"Somebody would do that?" Yukimura fakes surprise.

"Hmmm. You know, I have only counted nine Jyuuyuushi recently. Has something happened?" Hitetada finally says.

Yukimura drops all pretences of being nice. "I know he was captured by your men. For what reason you kidnapped Sarutobi Sasuke?"

"Shall we go into a private room?" The look in Benitora's eye is impossible to miss.

Without a word, Yukimura follows him.

Even once they are alone Yukimura is still angry. "Why was Sasuke kidnapped?"

"I had no part in it. Some of my men cam across him by chance in the forest. I only found out when they had gotten him back to Edo. I am doing all I can for him without raising suspicion."

Yukimura is silent for a while. He knows that Benitora is telling the truth. And he is grateful. Yukimura knows that it will be horrible for Sasuke, nothing Benitora does can change that, but at least he wont be killed. _'__He needs to be gotten out of there as soon as possible__…'_

"Benitora-san, would it be possible for a small group of Jyuuyuushi to break into your dungeons and escape with Sasuke?" Yukimura muses slowly.

Benitora shakes his head. "I doubt it. The security is too tight." He grins apologetically.

Yukimura is about to open his mouth to ask another question when both freeze as another Tokugawa commander comes close to the outside of the room.

"If you surrender these towns then I shall release your Ninja." Hitetada says coldly.

Without thinking Yukimura shakes his head. _'__Sasuke, you mean so much to me, and yet I just can__'__t surrender the towns.__'_"I would never agree to that."

"Even though if the fighting starts it is impossible to avoid civilian causalities?"

"At leas under my jurisdiction the rich do not get fat while the poor starve." Yukimura returns venomously.

Hitetada shakes his head slowly. "So we have not come to an agreement."

"No."

"Then I have no reason to remove my troops for at least another five weeks."

Yukimura picks up on the hidden message. _Sasuke has to stay for five weeks._

"And if I have a problem with that?"

"You'll get over it with time." _He needs time to heal._

Finally nodding, Yukimura sighs. "Five weeks." _'__Keep him sane until we can get him out__…'_

-

Back at Mount Kudo, Yukimura would appear to be having a stress.

The realisation that he cannot do anything to help Sasuke for five weeks, **35 days** is finally dawning upon Yukimura.

And then there is the threat of the Tokugawa attack. One wrong move and a fierce battle will erupt.

'_Although it might not.__'_A voice whispers in the back of his mind, but he squashes it quickly. He needs to prepare for the possibility of an attack.

-

"Kid, five weeks until your fingers should be set properly." 'Tora murmurs, leaning against one of the walls. "Sorry I can't say more."

Sasuke nods. He knows that if he is tortured and if (heaven forbid) he does break, it is best if Benitora is as little involved as possible.

Just in case.

"You've probably outstayed your welcome 'Tora. Don't want your guards to think you've gotten friendly with me, now do you?" Sasuke mummers himself, a tiny hint of amusement in his voice.

So he may be chained to a wall with numerous injuries, in the dungeons of the enemy, but he's with **'****Tora**. Nothing can stop heir playful arguing, name calling and childishness.

But Sasuke frowns when he does not get an answer.

"'Tora…?"

"This will be the last visit for a while Kid. As you said, I can't have my men thinking there's something like friendship between us. And I have my plans to attack mount Kudo."

Sighing, Sasuke realises that he's been waiting for this. He knew hat Benitora couldn't keep on visiting, but Sasuke still tries to make an attempt at his normal attitude. "Still going along with you plan to get beaten?"

"Five weeks, Sasuke."

And with that, Benitora leaves a struggling teenager behind, Sasuke yelling at him to come back and explain.

'_Damn it what does he mean by five weeks? There has to be something else happening apart from my hands!__'_

-

5 weeks, 35 days, 2100 hours, (126000 minutes) or (7560000 seconds) later, Yukimura urges his men forward, his own sword drawn and his body moving towards the battlefield.

Shouts and cried fill the air as the two sides clash, one side so much larger than the other, and yet, the smaller is causing much more devastation.

The one-third of the Sanada men that are fighting are being protected somewhat by the nine Sanada Jyuuyuushi who are all fighting like possessed demons.

All of them and Yukimura are angry. They want to be part of the three man team that has been sent to retrieve Sasuke, but as always, protecting Yukimura comes above everything else.

Because nothing else matters to them.

Before Yukimura threw himself into his favourite way of living (on the sword's edge), he said a silent prayer that Akira and Hotaru will be successful.

But even if any of the Tokugawa soldiers could see Yukimura before he cut them down, they would know that he wasn't thinking of Sasuke. He only cared about the fight.

-

5 weeks and two days, 37 days or 2148 hours after Benitora left Sasuke in the cell after telling him to wait five weeks, Sasuke has nearly given up hope.

There have been plenty of signs of a battle; the rumours floating down, the always hurried guards and the distinct lack of food and water.

Benitora said five weeks. Five weeks was two days ago and nothing has happened.

So now Sasuke waits in darkness, a blindfold and more injuries, with a tiny amount of hope and no clue of what is really going on.

-

When Akira makes it back to the Sanada camp, holding an injured Hotaru, Yukimura knows they failed.

"We ran into a problem. Mahiro thought that you would send people and set a trap. We only just made it out, but Hotaru was hit by a poisonous dart."

Yukimura calls Kosuke instantly and she takes Hotaru away into the medical tent.

"So Sasuke…?" Saizo asks slowly, not wanting to accept that Sasuke is still a prisoner.

"I am sorry." Akira says, shaking his head.

"Not just for this though." Yukimura interjects quietly. "Because you have to leave now without say goodbye to…"

Akira nods slowly this time. "If we join in the fight, we would become a larger threat to the Tokuagwa and that would mean that they may decide to do something about us. As fun as that may be, it would be annoying."

Yukimura has understood that this would happen, so he is not surprised.

Saizo on the other hand doesn't understand something. "If you didn't want to get involved then why did you go on the plan to rescue Sasuke?"

"Because we didn't plan on being seen." Akira's tone of voice; well**-duh**, makes Saizo glower. "But now we need to disappear for a while. One month after the fighting ends we will come back. We shall decide what to do afterwards."

When the former Shiseiten stood, Yukimura does as well. "I can't say 'thank you' for when Sasuke went with you, but thank you for watching over him." Yukimura admits slowly.

A barley noticeable look passes between the two, unspoken words that will never be uttered because then people would know they _care_.

Akira heads over to the medical tent, just waiting for Hotaru so they can disappear.

-

**(One Week Later)**

"Goddamn it! How long is this going to go on for?!" One of the Jyuuyuushi groans.

"Hopefully with a last effort we can end **this **skirmish soon and then send some people to talk. That should be the end of it." Saizo says wearily.

Groans go through the gathered Jyuuyuushi. "We've been fighting for one week straight! Hardly any brakes or anything."

"I would be easier if we had Sasuke." Someone murmurs.

There is a silence until Kosuke asks "How long has it been?"

"One month, two weeks and five days." Saizo finally mutters, not really wanting to admit to the others that he's been counting.

"Doesn't that mean that in a moth he should be regaining his sight?" Jinpachi asks, looking around at the remaining soldier, which amount to a pitiful number against the Tokugawa. He sighs and shakes his head, but then grins. _'__Guess that just means that we have a lot more fighting to do.__'_

Yukimura has been listening to his Jyuuyuushi talk and he feels a warmth spreading through his body at the concern they are expressing for Sasuke. It is times like this - and when the ten work together, fight together and watch over each other that remind Yukimura that they are a family. A dysfunctional, slightly crazy family, but who cares?

-

'_I was wrong. It seems these guards__…'_Sasuke coughs painfully, spitting some blood out of his mouth as he winces from the pain that is caused by a broken rib.

These new guards decided that because they had to stay back and watch over a kid, they would take out their anger on said Kid.

Poor, poor Sasuke.

The teenager is barely conscious, but he can still feel the pain, so his body jerks whenever he is hit. But the words are the ones that really are killing him.

If you tell someone something enough times, continuously repeat it and never let them forget it, then sooner or later, they will believe it.

Poor Sasuke. He's been told so many times that Yukimura wont come for him. He's been told that he's nothing but a thing that isn't worth saving.

Because, come on, who would want to save a thing? Something that isn't even human.

Sasuke already knew that he is a thing, but that Yukimura isn't going to save him?

At first he refused to believe it.

Yukimura promised.

Benitora said five weeks.

Yukimura _**promised**_.

_**"If I fell, you would catch me, right?" Yukimura asked quietly, still trying to make Sasuke understand. **_

_**Looking away, the boy just muttered, "Of course we would. We**__**'**__**re you**__**'**__**re guards. We will protect you even if it means sacri-"**_

_**"I didn't ask about the rest of the Jyuuyuushi, I asked if YOU would. And don**__**'**__**t say anything about sacrificing yourself. "**_

_**A pause and then, "Yeah. I would.**__**"**_

_**Yukimura smiled. "Then, I'll always catch you, no matter how far you fall." **_

"_**No - you wont.**__**"**_

_**In the silence that came after Sasuke**__**'**__**s statement, Yukimura looked at the young teenager in shock horror as angry tears formed at the corner of Sasuke**__**'**__**s closed eyes.**_

"_**No you wont, because you never have.**__**"**__** His voice was harsh **__**"**__**And you wont because no matter what you say, we - I - am always just going to be a tool. Even after you said how we were companions with the same dream, you still use us to get what you want. You don**__**'**__**t ever think to see if we could help you because you don**__**'**__**t care.**_

_**You don**__**'**__**t care if some pathetic thing gets hurt because of your actions. As long as you get what you want, it**__**'**__**s all okay.**__**"**_

_**If Sasuke wanted to say anymore, he could not, even if he tired. Yukimura**__**'**__**s arms had somehow found their way around Sasuke and have pulled the teenager tight into Yukimura**__**'**__**s chest.**_

_**As soon as the shock had worn off, Sasuke instantly tried to push away, but Yukimura**__**'**__**s grip just tightened. He had no intention of letting go.**_

"_**Yukimura! Let me go! Get the hell off me!**__**"**__** Sasuke managed to work an arm free and raised it, as if to hit Yukimura.**_

_**Yukimura knew what was going and simply closed his eyes, waiting for the blow to fall.**_

'_**God knows that I deserves it.**__**'**_

_**But something else fell onto Yukimura**__**'**__**s back. Small, almost unnoticeable tears hit Yukimura**__**'**__**s back and the adolescent in his arms started to shake.**_

_**Almost smiling, Yukimura drew Sasuke even closer, gently pressing Sasuke**__**'**__**s head into his shoulder, wishing that he could vow never to let the kid out of his arms again.**_

"_**I will catch you. No matter how far you fall. Never say I wont.**__**"**__** Yukimura**__**'**__**s voice was quiet, but this time, he knew that Sasuke had finally heard him.**_

He told Sasuke that he would catch Sasuke, and he would never let him go.

But he lied.

It's been two months since he had been captured, and no one has even come close.

No Jyuuyuushi, and no Yukimura.

And so, Sasuke believes fully that no one is going to come for him, and he is finally being treated how something from Aokigahara should be.

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own_**

**_Chapter Thirteen._**


	15. Chapter 14: Reunions are Never Great

Chapter 14

"Reunions are Never that Great"

It was a stunning win for the Sanada Clan. Yukimura managed to stop a three thousand man army from invading the towns and villages around Mount Kudo.

But both sides lost devastating amount of troops.

Tokugawa Hitetada lost 2,500 men to the Sanadas, while Sanada Yukimura lost one eight of his overall army.

Most of the Sanada Jyuuyuushi obtained wounds, ranging from broken limbs to gaping holes in their bodies. But all survived.

Hitetada took an arrow to the arm, but it has been give the all clear and he shouldn't loose the arm.

Yukimura faired slightly better, in the fact that he only dislocated his leg.

The battle was ended two weeks after the first blood was drawn and it was Hitetada who ended it. When he was down to 500 troops he realised that there was no way he could ever face the remaining Sanada troops, the Sanada Jyuuyuushi **and **Sanada Yukimura without facing certain death.

So he retreated, taking the remaining Tokugawa men with him.

And in Edo, under the main Tokugawa stronghold, is a dungeon.

Inside this dungeon, past the numerous patrolling guards, there hangs a young boy, no more than fourteen. This young prisoner has been hanging in this cell for two months and uncounted number of days.

When you get closer to see the boy, the beating he has endured become evident. The black eye. The split lip. The blood slowly dripping off his arms. The dried blood on his legs. Each and every finger wrapped tightly and splinted.

Someone so young, who has been through so much of hell, he can only keep on going, reverently praying that it will get better someday.

Sitting in front of the boy, there is a person. This person is technically the reason why the young boy is here in the first place, but the person is also the only reason why the boy has not been tortured horribly, or killed.

This person is Tokugawa Hitetada, or Kage Bunshin Benitora.

"Sasuke."

The boy in chains twitches, not wanting to wake up.

"Sasuke."

The name is repeated in the same gentle voice.

"Come on kid, wake up."

With a big effort, Sasuke slowly opens his eyes, moaning in pain instantly as the light blinds the little he can see.

Benitora lets he blindfold fall to the floor. "I'm sorry kid. I had no idea this was going on."

Sasuke says nothing.

"Akira and Hotaru did try to rescue you, you know?"

An involuntary jerk of surprise. Someone cared…?

"There's only so much I can do, but I think it's about time for another tournament to be held. You never know who could turn up this time." A laugh enters 'Tora's voice. "Hell, maybe even _**Kyo **_will turn up. I hear here's been around."

Sasuke wonders why he's being told these things. It doesn't matter to something like him.

"Of course, because I'm the Shogun-"

'_And if only I could kill you my Master would be - __'_

"There will be a few who would want to kill me. So I would need almost all of the guards to be protecting me." _'__Leaving an opening for Yukimura to get you. And this time, Mahiro __**wont **__get in the way.__'_

A faint, almost non-existent voice manages to rasp "Yukimura…come?" The words are so disjointed that it takes Benitora a minute to understand.

"Yeah, little Kid. Yukimura'll come. Just give me three weeks."

'_Three more weeks? I__'__m so far into hell, I guess walking down the path for three more weeks can__'__t be so bad.__'_

Must squash out that tiny bit of brightness before it becomes hope, because hope leads to heart break and really, he's already lost enough as it is.

-

Soon all of the towns are talking about the tournament in Edo. They remember the last one - who could not? The Tokugawa house exploding, soldiers dead, and Lord Ieyasu presumed to be dead for a worrying amount of time.

Oh yes, people are excited.

And the news spreads like wildfire, not a single person does not know about it.

Up in their lonely perch on Mount Kudo, even the Sanada Clan has heard. And guess what? They're plotting.

They have the idea that because of the risk to Hitetada, the guards will not be paying as much attention to the prisons as they should be…

Two and a half weeks until Sasuke returns to his rightful home.

The Jyuuyuushi can say that life without Sasuke is definitely more boring. Normally there would be the laughter of the thirteen year old (who is nearly fourteen now), or the playful arguing of Yukimura and Sasuke, or Sasuke making fun of Saizo. Right now, no one feels like making fun of Saizo, It just isn't the same without Sasuke's rare heart filled grin.

Of course, everyone notices that their Lord has been in a furious mood ever since he found out **his **Sasuke was kidnapped. Given his nature, many thought that he would have tried to drown his anger in sake - and he did, for a week. He was almost never at Mount Kudo, but at a 'tea-house'.

The Jyuuyuushi would diligently follow and protect, but they all knew that Yukimura just didn't want to face reality at the minute, which was understandable - so many men had died in the battle. His friends injured and _favourite _kidnapped.

Understandable.

The question all want the answer to now is 'will Yukimura compete?' If he does then there is the chance that he will be recognised and Sasuke will be out under heavy guard.

But then, what are the chances of him rejecting the chance to fight the strongest?

To be honest, Yukimura knows damn well that he will compete and so does Benitora.

Which is why Benitora is going to do his best to convince his guards and Generals that Yukimura is going to try and assassinate Benitora, much like Yukimura tried with his Father.

That way, the guards will not go running to try and guard Sasuke when hell breaks loose.

Oh what fun this should be.

-

Two and a half weeks go by very quickly.

Especially when you have to pretend to be plotting the assassination of the Shogun of Japan (and it only is a pretend because this is _Benitora _and killing him when the guy is trying to help them and it would just be **low**.) and is also trying to form an escape plan for an injured person from the dungeon.

The hope is back in the eyes of the Jyuuyuushi.

Once again, Yukimura is pretending to be a woman; a Masami Sosou. (1)

It truly is an impressive turnout.

On the beautiful clear day, Yukimura quite literally runs into Shiina Yuya.

"Oh I am sorry!" She smiles, not recognising the man…er _woman_ in front of her.

"It's nothing…" Wait for it… "Yuya-han!" There's the recognition from Yukimura, as he grabs the speechless woman in a hug. "It's been too long!"

When she is finally put down, she blushes. "I don't think I know you…" She says slowly.

"Still cross-dressing I see." Kyo's deep voice breaks in, and the two men simply look at each other, while Yuya looks between the two, **finally **clicking on who the _woman _is.

"Yukimur- aaaah I mean…um…"

"Masami Sosou."

With a truly happy smile, Yuya starts to chat to Yukimura, while Kyo slowly looks around, searching for the ever present Sanada Jyuuyuushi.

"I only count nine. Something happen to one of your pets?" Kyo drawls, interrupting again.

Instantly Yukimura's whole demeanour changes. He becomes more stiff, angry and slightly…sullen.

"Sasuke…Sasuke is being held prisoner. Today my Jyuuyuushi will free him."

As the three steer away from that topic and back onto lighter conversation, like what's been going on in each others lives, they wonder who else they will meet.

A giant reunion, of sorts.

-

It is really no surprise, that by the time the semi-finals are staring, both Kyo and Yukimura are still going strong, and have not yet crossed on the battle field.

To Yuya's great delight, Akira and Hotaru turn up halfway through one of Kyo's fights.

"Why is Kyo-sama fighting these weaklings?" Akira's murmur is nearly non-existent.

Hotaru says nothing, but his thoughts are the same.

After a five minute battle, Yukimura secures his place in the final. As he leaves the arena, he raises a casual hand, the signal to the Jyuuyuushi that they should commence the plans.

Within a second, all of the Jyuuyuushi have scattered, some going to make it look like they are trying to kill Benitora, while the rest; Saizo, Kosuke and Jinpachi, go shooting off towards the main hold.

-

Sometimes, Saizo really thinks that he might pity the Tokugawa soldiers. They never even see death coming; the Jyuuyuushi are truly great at stealth. Of course, as soon as Saizo remembers why they are right in the middle of the main Tokuagwa stronghold, weaving their way through the back, shadowy corridors, making their way to the dungeons, all pity disappears.

They deserve to pay.

"We don't have much time before the next shift." Jinpachi mutters, glancing behind them, making sure the body is well hidden.

Saizo looks up sharply. "I thought we would have longer."

"Maybe just enough time to get to the dungeons. If the others don't set the alarm off soon then we're screwed." Jinpachi pushes his way to the front and then grins. "So we should hurry up and kill these fuckers."

Nodding, the group hurry forward, each one silently hoping they will have enough time to rescue Sasuke.

After a few more guards, they find themselves looking at a stone door.

Without wasting another minute, the Jyuuyuushi flood into the dungeons, mercilessly killing the guard, only to stand and stare at their companion in chains.

Sasuke is not moving. He's learn that moving equals pain. His head is slumped, blood trickling down his face, dripping onto the floor from unseen head wounds. His rough blindfold is glistening with the blood it has soaked up.

His right arm is broken and is clearly not a clean break. Part of the bone is sticking out, and the position he is in - crucified means that his arms are taking most of the weight and therefore, the bone is slowly ripping through his arm.

His fingers are no longer splinted, but it is clear that he can't move them.

Sasuke's neck is just one massive bloody wound. He really shouldn't have tried to escape so often. The chain has bitten into his neck and now the teenager can't move his head in fear of making it worse.

The rest of his body is in slightly better condition; mainly just bruises and cuts and the few snapped ribs.

Breaking into the cell was easy and instantly Kosuke starts to categorize Sasuke's wounds and does her best to treat some of them.

"Sasuke?" She asks quietly, trying to get his attention.

Nothing.

"He is breathing." She says, gently touching his face. "He just wont answer."

Inside Sasuke's little pain-filled world, he is aware that there are people talking about him. He can hear snippets of the conversation, but nothing makes sense. Who are they? If they were the guards why haven't they hurt him yet?

"-Blindfold off?" A male voice asks and Sasuke has to react to that. If they take away the blindfold, his eyes will be vulnerable. As long as it stays on everything will be fine.

Imagine the surprise when the Jyuuyuushi hear a weak, pitiful voice just barely murmur "No taking…blindfold off."

"Sasuke?!" Kosuke sounds happy that he's finally reacting, but the teenager says nothing else.

If there's one thing he's learnt in his stay, talking gets you punished.

Sasuke doesn't want to be punished anymore.

'_Why did I say anything?__'_ His mind whispers harshly, instantly preparing for the pain that always follows words.

And he isn't left hanging.

Literally. Jinpachi has finally broken through the chains holding his arms up, but because he hasn't moved them (and he has broken his right arm) the pain is so immense. Luckily for Sasuke, he blacks out. The next time he wakes, he feels odd. Like he isn't hanging in his chains anymore, but is in the arms of someone.

Stupid really. He's had so many hallucinations before, why should this time be anything different? Of course he hasn't been rescued. He isn't worth rescuing. It's all in his head.

-

"Oh come now, already?" Yukimura says, pushing away from Kyo to look towards where loud alarm bells are wailing. "Sorry Kyo-san, I really thought it would take my Jyuuyuushi longer than this."

Kyo's grin just widens. "Trying to kill Benitora?"

"Trying to save Sasuke." Yukimura replies, pushing his hair out of his face. "I am sorry."

"For fighting?"

With a laugh, Yukimura turns to face to Tokugawa soldiers who are running towards him. "For cutting short again. It seems I have to leave."

Shrugging slightly, Kyo also looks at the soldiers. "You plan on fighting them instead?"

"Not really."

At that moment a very tired looking Jyuuyuushi appears next to Yukimura. "Yukimura-sama! Saizo's fog is approaching from the main hold."

With a grin that rivals Kyo's, Yukimura murmurs "Then I suggest we disappear in it." He looks at Kyo, who has now been joined by Akira and Hotaru. "Why don't you come with me to Mount Kudo?"

Kyo gives a small laugh. "I suspect you servants -"

"I do hope you're not referring to the Jyuuyuushi -"

"Would find my presence a bit irritating." Kyo finishes, as if Yukimura had never interrupted.

Yuya just stares at Kyo. "Since when has that ever stopped you before?"

Laughing, Yukimura looks at Yuya. "Well, it was nice to see you again Yuya-han!"

"You too Yukimura!"

Akira and Hotaru just watch Yukimura, before nodding. Akira answers for the both of them. "I'm sure we will see you there later, Yukimura-san."

To be honest, this lot were never great with reunions.

-

Yukimura can't think of anything to say. He just can't. This is not what he was expecting. Seriously. "Sasuke can't be this badly wounded." He finally mummers. "There isn't an inch…".

And it's true. Sasuke is completely covered in bandages; his right arm splinted and bandaged. His wrists were so badly damaged by the metal cuffs that they have had to bandage them and then put a layer of ice placed around them.

His neck has been heavily wrapped and Kosuke has mentioned something about scarring from the wound. If the wounds he had sustained from the prison wasn't enough, the wounds from his last visit to Aokigahara had reopened, so his legs are bandaged.

Kosuke can do nothing to reassure Yukimura because honestly? His wounds are so severe that the blood loss may kill him. And even if it doesn't…His state of mind could be bad.

The only thing she can say is "We just wont know until he wakes." And then leaves Yukimura alone with his favourite Jyuuyuushi.

"Wait." Yukimura's tone is troubled, but he obviously needs to ask something. "His eyes - Can he use them?"

Kosuke shakes her head despairingly. "I don't know, Yukimura-sama. He…" She tries to think of a way of saying it. "Briefly in the dungeons Sasuke said not to take the blindfold off. He doesn't have any wounds there, but I don't think he's been allowed it off since he was captured."

Yukimura nods, dismissing her. Instantly he goes over to the prone Sasuke, who is now asleep (not unconscious anymore) and removes the white blindfold that Kosuke tied around his head. Yukimura wants to make sure. He has to.

When the untouched closed eyes are reviled, Yukimura sighs, gently stroking Sasuke's hair off his face. "You weren't suppose to get hurt again." He barley whispers it, whishing that for once he could look down at Sasuke like this and not have to see bandages. "I said I'd catch you, no matter what. No matter how far you fell." He pauses and looks at the ceiling. "I wish I could say that I wouldn't let you fall in the first place but -" He almost laughs. "You would get so angry. You'd say I was treating you like a kid." Looking back down at Sasuke, Yukimura shifts so that he's closer. "You know, I really don't think of you as a kid at all."

Then, as if to prove that to the sleeping Sasuke, Yukimura presses his lips to Sasuke's.

-

It's not often you wake up to someone kissing you. Well, it's not often for Sasuke. In fact, this has to be the first time.

And he's not really complaining. The person above him does smell nice. And has soft lips. And is better than the prison any days or night.

Of course, it probably is just another hallucination. Seriously. First off, when had he been rescued? Surely he would remember something like _that._

And then, who would kiss him?

The tiny, easy to ignore voice in the back of his mind whispers _'__Yukimura.__'_ But because it's easy to ignore, Sasuke amazingly, ignores it.

Then again, ever since the kiss in the forest, the teenager can't help but imagine what it would be like to kiss Yukimura again.

'_I suppose it would be something like this. Just with less pain.__'_Sasuke muses, wincing as he realises that his neck and arm are on fire with blinding pain. _'__I could try and ignore it. The hallucination. It might go away then. But__…__I would wake up. Don__'__t want to wake up.__'_He stops to think. _'__Actually, this isn__'__t that bad. Might as well go along with it.__'_ If he could shrug, he would.

Yukimura is really surprised when he feels the lips beneath his moving. Jolting back, a very faint blush spreads over his delicate features as he watches Sasuke move his head slightly. Finally, Sasuke opens his mouth and mummers "Thas' the second' time you've done tha'…" before dissolving into a painful coughing fit.

Smiling, Yukimura gently props Sasuke up and puts the glass of water in the teenager's hand.

Sasuke can feel the glass, but there is no way he can move his arms, so he glowers at Yukimura. Quickly, Yukimura realises this and takes the glass back. "Well, it's not like you're complaining." Looking at the glass and then at Sasuke, Yukimura grins.

Sasuke is expecting to feel the glass against his lips and then wake up from the hallucination (that's how it always works. Just before he gets food or water he wakes up), but he is disappointed - instead of glass he feels lips against his again.

And then water flows from Yukimura's lips into Sasuke's mouth.

Choking from the sudden coldness and wetness of the water ((A/N: Shut up; I know water's wet.)), Sasuke managed to realises that this has never happened in a hallucination before.

Yukimura sits back, pleased that he got another chance to kiss Sasuke, and seeing the blush on his Shinobi's face is just adorable.

"Yuki…mura?" Sasuke whispers, tilting his head to where his Lord should be. "Is this a hallucination?"

Yukimura just blinks before gently stroking Sasuke's face. "No. You're safe now. You're home."

This makes Sasuke think. Home? He's back in Aokigahara? So then why is Yukimura…?

"Mount Kudo, Sasuke. You're home will never be Aokigahara again." Yukimura realises that Sasuke probably didn't mean to say that out loud, but what Yukimura said is true, and he will make sure that Sasuke understands that. "You're home is with us. With me."

"With you…"Sasuke mummers sleepily, before falling back asleep, a warmth spreading through him as he understands that Yukimura will never leave him - never throw him away, because you only throw away tools, not people.

Finally Sasuke understands this.

Such a shame that he can't remember that this encounter even happened when he next wakes up three days later.

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Fourteen, and No, Sasuke does not have amnesia. He just can't remember that little episode._**


	16. Chapter Fifteen: I own you

Chapter 15 - "I own you"

The next time Sasuke wakes, he is all alone. _'__Yukimura isn__'__t here__…'_ And it's true. Sasuke can't sense Yukimura's presence anywhere near his room. For some reason this send a sense of disappointment shooting through Sasuke's body, although he quickly dispels it. Yukimura wouldn't always be in his room. It's not like Sasuke **owns** Yukimura. It's more the other way around.

And that's when it hits Sasuke.

He's in **his** room. Not a prison, his **room**.

'_I think I__'__m missing something__…"_ He thinks slowly, trying to sit up, but the pain in his neck and - oh gods - his arm, stops him instantly.

Surveying the room with his blind eyes, Sasuke can only hear Shibien quivering in chains in a corner of the room, nothing else. The only reason he knows it is his room because one; Shibien is here and two; it's the only room that smells so strongly of Aokigahara.

Blinking a few times, Sasuke raises an arm (his left, for his right would appear to be bandaged tightly to his chest and very much broken.) very slowly to drape over his face. The light is far too bright for his eyes which are only used to one flickering candle. ((A/N: Guess what conditions I'm writing in? -20oC, a few flickering candles in the Artic Circle, watching the Northern Lights and listening to dogs howling.))

"How?" His voice is so cracked and barely recognisable that instead of attempting to talk to the ceiling/Shibien he continues in his head. _'__How did I get here? I just remember pain - my arm. I remember my arm falling and someone talking. A woman? Mahiro? No - Kosuke. Kosuke rescued me? Someone caught me as I fell, but I doubt it was Yukimura.__'_

"Hotaru…You really shouldn't try and sneak up on me." He mutters weakly, wincing as the raw wounds on his neck move. Sasuke feels his friend sit down beside his bed.

"You've been asleep a while. Didn't know if you were awake or dreaming again." Hotaru mummers watching Sasuke half smile.

"Why? How long I been asleep for?" His dry throat desperately trying to produce the sounds.

Before Hotaru answers, he passes Sasuke a glass of water, which the teenager gladly accepts with his left arm. Hotaru makes sure Sasuke drinks all of it before answering. "Since we rescued you, you've been asleep for nearly six and a half days. We've only been back at Mount Kudo for five of those days."

Sasuke is silent.

"The others have been worried about you. Kosuke could tend to your wounds, but couldn't wake you. She also couldn't say if you would be mentally alright."

Finally Sasuke whispers "Other? Why would they be worried about something like me?"

To this Hotaru says nothing, trying to find a way of answering the question. When he looks up from Sasuke's face, he is surprised to see who is standing in the doorway.

Almost encouraged by the silence, Sasuke continues, relieved to be able to talk to someone like him, who understands. Who's lived in the forest.

Little does he realise that the only reason why Hotaru has stayed silent is because Yukimura, who had just arrived in time to hear Sasuke's last sentence, has raised a finger for quiet.

"The other Jyuuyuushi…They wont ever really accept me because I'm from the 'evil place where monsters live'. At least you're human, if not once part of the Mibu. You could go and live somewhere else and no one would call you a freak or be scared of you. But I'm not human, am I? I'm just a another failed experiment dumped into the forest like trash." Sasuke stops to cough violently, which just makes him smile and laugh. "But I'm lucky. I'll be allowed to die for Yukimura my own way. No illness will kill me like the others. Just think Hotaru. If I wasn't a 'rare specimen' I would be dying now. The illness would be wracking my body with pain and when I reach 15, I would die." Stopping to think, Sasuke remembers why he started on this rant. "The Jyuuyuushi…" He says slowly. "The Jyuuyuushi will never see me as anything more than either a child or a monster. And Yukimura? He…He…" Words fail him as he tries to express how he believes Yukimura sees him.

A child.

A worthless monster.

A piece of trash.

Someone to pity.

Replaceable.

Just another Sarutobi Sasuke.

Just another incontinence.

"I…will never be good enough for him." Sasuke finally mummers, convincing himself that the reason why he eyes are stinging is because he isn't used to the light. "I'm always just going to be the boy in the forest about to cry. The bird with no nest - no home."

At this point, Hotaru looks sharply at Yukimura, who just shakes his head once, so Hotaru simply puts a hand on Sasuke's shoulder.

Leaning slightly into the touch, Sasuke says in a very weary voice "I don't want to be Sarutobi Sasuke sometimes. I just want to be Sasuke. Jus' Sasuke." The toll of being so wounded and tired finally wins out over consciousness and Sasuke manages to somewhat curl into a ball next to his sort-of-friend. In his depressed and broken state, Sasuke can almost believe he's laying next to Kotarou, and everything is alright in the world.

Leaving Hotaru and Yukimura in a **very **uncomfortable silence. When Hotaru finally looks up at the man that Sasuke has pretty much given his life to, he finds that Yukimura is staring at Sasuke with eyes that are burning with a furious intensity.

Without saying anything, Yukimura suddenly turns away, stalking from the room and out towards the main exit.

Yukimura wants to say that he never knew how Sasuke feels, but that would be a lie. He seems to have this conversation a lot with Sasuke, and mainly always when Sasuke's wounded.

This time is the worst though. It actually makes Yukimura wonder what would have happened if he hadn't found Sasuke. Would **his **ninja just be living in one of the villages in the forest? Or would a monster have taken advantage of Sasuke's state and attacked?

' "_Just Sasuke__"__ ? He makes it sound like I don__'__t know who he really is.__'_Yukimura thinks and then stops walking, vaguely aware that he has ended up on one of the slopes of Mount Kudo, a tiny resting area that has a few small trees, some bushes and a beautiful view of the world below.

"How am I suppose to convince him that I do? I don't think of him as a tool. I don't think of him as a failed experiment - or an experiment at all. I don't think of him as a freak or anything but **my **Shinobi and **my **Sasuke!" He doesn't notice that his voice is slowly getting darker and darker, until the possessiveness is all that can be heard.

'_Is he really yours though? You__'__ve seen how happy he is with others. He never seems to be that happy when with you.__'_The dangerous voice in the back of his head whispers. _'__He thinks that he__'__s your tool. You have his loyalty, but that__'__s not enough. You should have __**him**__.__'_

Yukimura shakes his head. "Sasuke is allowed to do whatever he wants, as long as I have his loyalty."

'_You should have him. You should mark him. Then he would be yours__…__and everyone would know he is.__'_

For some reasons, his feelings of anger, rage, possessiveness and failure of not knowing Sasuke better, makes these suggestions seem much more…tempting, now.

With the more logical side of his mind screaming at him to stop, Yukimura slowly stands from the bench and turns to face towards his home.

His first few steps are hesitant, as if his body is trying to tell him that to go now would be a bad idea, but with the constant mental images of a moaning Sasuke beneath him, calling out **his **names, Yukimura finds himself on the path back.

-

"Akira?" Sasuke mummers as he feels someone kneel down beside him.

Yukimura frowns, annoyed that Akira is the first person Sasuke thought of. But instead of saying anything, Yukimura just leans over and kisses Sasuke.

Of course, because Sasuke has just woken up and is sort of only moving on auto-pilot, he tries to push his assailant away. With a broken arm. And four broken ribs.

His cries of pain are muffled by Yukimura, who moves to pin his Sasuke down, so that the teenager wont be able to move anymore.

As soon as Yukimura pulls away to breathe, Sasuke nearly manages to yell "What the hell are you doing?!", but Yukimura puts a hand over his mouth.

"**You are my Sasuke.**" The anger, the possessiveness and the sheer ferocity of his voice stuns Sasuke. "You are **my **Sarutobi Sasuke."

To prove this, Yukimura leans down and captures Sasuke's lips in a bruising kiss.

Now, Sasuke is unsure of what he should be doing. Should he let Yukimura do this? Well, he doesn't have much of a choice. With so many broken bones there is no way he could throw Yukimura off. So should he just accept it and let Yukimura have his way? A cold shudder runs down Sasuke's spine. Yukimura wouldn't wound him…would he? No, of course not. But as Yukimura shifts slightly, accidentally putting pressure on one of Sasuke's ribs, the teenager decides that Yukimura isn't too concerned with his current wounds, right at this minute.

But Yukimura won't do anything too bad. He wont go too far.

Then again…

"_**You are my Sasuke.**__**"**_

This is….This is what Sasuke wants. To be accepted by Yukimura. To have Yukimura all to himself, even just for a few minutes.

When Sasuke finally stops struggling, Yukimura smiles, opening Sasuke's lips to properly explore his mouth. While Sasuke may be laying still now, Yukimura has no intention of staying still. (And nor has he ever been good at it. As he said when they all first met Kotarou, and he caught them in his Kagenui 'I've never been good at standing still'.).

Slowly but steadily, Yukimura hands begin to wonder over Sasuke's bandaged chest and neck, picking gently at the firm bandages.

Arching ever so slightly into the touch, Sasuke moans quietly as Yukimura presses too hard on his neck wound.

The next time the break apart, Sasuke turns his head to one side, panting. This only drives Yukimura to do more. Looking down at Sasuke's slightly flushed face, shimmering with beads of perspiration and his hair mussed up and sticking to his closed eyes, Yukimura can think of a few things he wants to do.

"Sasuke." The way Yukimura says it; ever so slightly breathless, in his perfect voice, it just makes Sasuke want to hear him say it again and again. But he wont ask. Because he's pretty sure that anything he says at the minute will come out as a plea, and he will **not** plea. So instead he just ignores Yukimura's unspoken command to look at him and instead, he focuses on the feeling of being underneath Yukimura in such a way.

And sure enough, only seconds later Yukimura says his name again. _"__Sasuke.__"_This seductive way of murmuring Sasuke's name makes the teen shiver violently and said teen then moans in disappointment when Yukimura removes his hands from Sasuke's chest and puts them either side of Sasuke's head, so that he is completely surrounded by Yukimura. And as Sasuke well knows, Yukimura can be very teasing at times, but really - this is the most maddening. He has positioned himself so that he's not actually touching Sasuke and Sasuke can only sense him. Yukimura is completely dominating all of Sasuke's other senses.

All Sasuke can hear is Yukimura's gently breathing above him, but the soft caress that he would normally feel from the breath on his face is lacking.

The taste Yukimura has left in his mouth from ravaging it is addicting and leaving Sasuke to crave more of the delicious flavour.

And the smell that can only be described as Yukimura has overpowered everything else and nearly completely intoxicated Sasuke and is clouding the few remaining thoughts he has.

Yukimura almost laughs when Sasuke arches even higher, desperate for some form of contact. Dipping his head right down next to Sasuke's ear, which is exposed due to the fact that Sasuke's head is still turned to one side., Yukimura slowly whispers "_**Sasuke**__**…**_".

Amusement is clear in his faces as he pulls back, watching Sasuke shake his head violently, his eyes still firmly closed.

Groaning in agony, Sasuke manages to pant "Why d'yah want…to see them?"

Once again Yukimura leans down. "Because you've got no reason to hide them." He presses a few quick kisses to Sasuke's lips. "I don't care what you look like - Actually, as long as you aren't covered in bandages I don't care. Bandages are bad. Even if you were like the others - if you had scales or wings or claws, I wouldn't care. You would still be **my Sasuke**_**.**_" He smiles "But you're not anything like them. You are a one-in-a-kind special. And it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, because this is **your **home. And I will always want you."

"I'm yours." Sasuke murmurs. _'__But you__'__re not mine__…'_

"Mine." Yukimura growls, tilting Sasuke's face upwards and only then does Sasuke open his blind eyes.

At that moment, Sasuke would give almost anything to be able to see Yukimura. But then, it's not like his eyes stays open long, because as soon as Yukimura claims his lips again, they slide close in pleasure. Yukimura is finally kissing him again and most conscious thought escapes his brain.

Of course, when you live in a place full of people, sooner or later someone is going to walk in.

"Yukimura…Sama…?" Saizo asks, not quite sure of what is going on, but if you find two people in such a position as they are in, there is really only one thing you can assume.

"Sasuke is having a night terror." Yukimura says hurriedly, winking at the mortified teenager beneath him. "I came in to find him thrashing around and I didn't want him to re-open any of his wounds." When he realises that Sasuke is far too mortified to actually play along and help out the act, Yukimura very gently presses down on Sasuke's chest, making the boy shift and groan lightly.

"Would it be possible for you to get Kosuke, Saizo? I fear that he may need his bandages changed again." Yukimura's smile is slightly strained, but Saizo can understand that.

Nodding, he moves towards the door, looking back in sympathy at Sasuke. This isn't the first time Sasuke has had night terrors. They are unfortunately a common occurrence with the young ninja. Just before he leaves, Saizo sees Sasuke face contort in pain, and Yukimura gently strokes it, brushing away Sasuke's hair from his eyes. Saizo also notices Sasuke's flushed face - maybe he has yet another fever.

((Poor naive Saizo))

As soon as Saizo is out of hearing range, Yukimura laughs softly, burying his face in Sasuke's bandaged neck. "Ne Sasuke? I'm sorry."

There is a slight pause, in which Yukimura begins to kiss the few exposed places of flesh on Sasuke's neck. Finally Sasuke answers quietly "Why? I…I-" His face goes even redder as he tries to hide from Yukimura, who is now nipping his neck affectionately. "I don't mind."

Laughing again, Yukimura kisses Sasuke one last time before standing up. "I would love to continue this, but unfortunately Kosuke will be arriving soon."

Sasuke nods, still flushed red.

"But -" The sing-song voice sends shivers down Sasuke's spine. "I'm sure we can find time to continue this later tonight, don't you?"

Before the poor teenager can answer, Yukimura, with the biggest of all grins possible, prances out of the room.

_**We are home after all.**_

Sasuke smiles. "Yeah." He whispers "I think I can call this place a home." He then carefully leans up and places a very light chastise kiss on Yukimura's lips. "I have a proper home."

Finally, Sasuke does something that he will deny for eternity. He snuggles back into Yukimura's embrace, a contented feeling spreading through his body. All thoughts of murdering Yukimura have vanished as he just simply enjoys the warmth.

And when he falls asleep, he misses the way one of Yukimura's eyes slide open, before the Sanada smiles and tightens his grip on Sasuke.

'_I wont let you be hurt like this ever again. I swear.__'_

But wrapped in his new found feelings of belonging comes the faint whispers that Sasuke has never truly been rid of.

_"__**What**__**'**__**s in a name? I have name. Sasuke. **_Sasuke_**. Others have had the same name. More will have when I die. Huh. I don**__**'**__**t think of **__**'**__**if**__**'**__** I die. Just **__**'**__**when**__**'**__**. **__**"**__A voice whispers, the only sound in the darkness._

_"__**Names are important**__**…**__**aren**__**'**__**t they? **__**"**__ Sasuke murmurs._

_**"**__** Without my name - without Sarutobi - I would just be the Thing from Aokigahara. **__**"**__The first voice whispers back tauntingly._

_**"**__** And yet I still hate my name. **__**"**__The ninja__'__s voice is sorrowful - He shouldn__'__t feel like this._

_**"**__** I have the name which is used so carelessly. There wont be another **__**'**__**Saizo**__**'**__** or another **__**'**__**Kosuke**__**'**__**. There will never be another **__**'**__**Yukimura**__**'**__**. But there will always be a **__**'**__**Sasuke**__**'**__**. **__**"**_

_Sasuke tilts his head at that. Of course there wont be another Yukimura. Or Saizo or Kosuke. But that doesn__'__t matter any more._

"**It****'****s not ****'**I'm another Sarutobi Sasuke**'****, but it****'****s ****'**I'm the current Sarutobi Sasuke**'**** Who cares about who came before me. Who cares about who will come after me. I trust Yukimura. He wont****…****he wont replace me unless he finds someone perfect.****'**

'_**So, does that make you perfect?**__**'**_

"Sasuke. Sasuke." Yukimura's voice rouses him. "Sasuke, you were having a dream - you were murmuring in your sleep and you kept on frowning."

Nodding, the teenager sits up slowly, slightly shaken from the dream. It was odd - no two ways about it. "I'm the current Sarutobi Sasuke and that's all that matters." He whispers to himself, before smiling. "And I have a home and a family. I'll never be like the others in the forest."

Yukimura watches the teenager mouth something to himself before smiling. Happy to see Sasuke looking more up hearted, Yukimura picks up a glass of water and sits back down beside Sasuke. "Here. You need to stay hydrated."

And so another day starts.

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Fifteen, written in Sweeden orriginally in terrible, but awsome conditions._**


	17. Chapter Sixteen: In The End

Chapter Seventeen.

In The End

Yukimura finds Sasuke laying on a roof, eyes closed and his chest raising and falling slowly.

The Lord assumes that Sasuke came up here for a bit of peace and quiet and to possibly watch the sun set.

It's been nearly two months since Sasuke has been rescued from the Tokuagwa dungeons and most of his injuries have healed. His arms are still bandaged lightly from elbow to finger-tips, but they are slightly stiff as a reminder that he shouldn't move them unless he has to.

A small dressing is over the wound he sustained to his when back in Aokigahara, otherwise the teenager is fine.

The sun slowly begins to warm up the sky with beautiful colours, where-as the moon that is raising higher is stealing the warmth of the day. Yukimura removes his coat when Sasuke trembles slight and lays it over the teenager.

As he watches the sun sink lower and lower, he can feel Saizo's presence below, checking up on his friend. Smiling lightly when the other ninja leaves, Yukimura stops watching the sky and starts watching Sasuke.

Noticing how a few strands of hair are resting on Sasuke's closed eyes, Yukimura gently sweeps the hair to one side, letting his fingers rest on the teenager's brow. Almost absentmindedly, Yukimura taps an elegant finger on the soft skin twice, before drawing the finger down the side of Sasuke's face, stopping when he gets to the lips.

Memories of the teenager surface, trapping the older man inside of them, almost completely oblivious to the outside world.

Only when the lips beneath his fingers start to move does Yukimura snap out of his daze.

"You're staring at me." Sasuke mutters quietly, his voice dulled by the sleepy daze he is in.

Simply smiling, Yukimura leans down and slowly kisses his little ninja.

When Yukimura pulls away, Sasuke sits up, still sleepy and his eyes closed, which means that when Yukimura presses a small bundle into Sasuke's arms, the teenager sends a confused look.

And considering that he can do that with his eyes closed is quite impressive.

"You missed dinner." Yukimura answers, pulling the nodding teenager into his side so that they are sitting as close as possible.

While Sasuke's attention may be on the food, Yukimura is nearly entirely focused on Sasuke. After Sasuke has quickly (and successfully) gotten into the food and started eating, Yukimura speaks.

"It's odd to see you do everything with closed eyes. Especially since your eyesight has healed."

The no-longer-blind boy shrugs. "Used to doing things like this. Also means that my other senses are improved."

Yukimura smiles happily. , ruffling Sasuke's hair. "As long as you look at me - "

"And only you. I haven't forgot that you're a very possessive love - person." Sasuke quickly fixes his slight slip-up.

Smiling almost sadly, Yukimura tightens his grip on Sasuke. "Yeah. I am."

As the night almost completely draws in, Sasuke finally opens his eyes, observing the scenery slowly.

He almost wants to say that his sight is pretty much perfect now. He hasn't been able to see so clearly since the fight -

_/ He just dodges a blow that would have been fatal. /_

The illness -

_/ The pressure that has been building in his head suddenly disappears, leaving him incredibly dizzy and nauseous. /_

The pain -

_/ With a loud cry, Sasuke__'__s opponent throws himself toward Sasuke, the soldier__'__s shoulder slamming into the youth__'__s sternum, feeling the bone crack under the impact, while the soldier__'__s sword buries itself deep within Sasuke__'__s middle._

_The force of the attack sends Sasuke flying backwards, straight into a massive old tree._

_Sasuke__'__s head smashes into the trunk, instantly splitting his head open, blood flowing in torrents from the broken boy. /_

He closes his eyes again, trying to repress these memories. The overwhelming feeling of being completely isolated without anyone being around him because he is drowning in the darkness, the shadows are clawing up from the Black Forest, calling him back, deep down into the hell -

The soft warm lips against his shock him out of his darkness. When he feels Yukimura's smile against his lips, Sasuke pulls away, glairing.

"I like my new way of distracting you from those sort of thoughts." When Sasuke doesn't protest, Yukimura leans over again. Stopping only a second away from Sasuke's lips, Yukimura murmurs "Whenever those feelings, those thoughts come back, just …open your eyes."

For possibly the first time, Sasuke's eyes are open and he can _see _Yukimura and what he is doing.

On the other side of the compound, a blind man and a complacent man pause, looking back.

Hotaru idly asks "Are you sure?"

Akira nods, half a smile on his face. "We may see them again." He says noncommittally before starting to walk.

Neither warriors like goodbyes, nor see the need to say them. In the world they exists in, life is something that can be destroyed suddenly and normally without warning. The life style means that forming bonds can be dangerous; betrayal, death, sadness, revenge, anger, love. But then, they are only human after all. No one can completely disregard their emotions.

"I never expected this to happen." Akira says when they have been travelling for a few hours.

Hotaru makes a humming sound in question.

"Somehow we got so entangled within their lives."

Without saying anything, Hotaru agrees. He will never admit it, but the brat actually means something to him now. Something more than just a target for fireballs and entertainment.

Similar thoughts are running through Akira's mind about the mutual respect he had formed with Sasuke. And the intelligent conversations - something he doesn't always get with Hotaru.

Both of the warriors are not-so-secretly sure that sooner or later they will end up back at the Sanada household for an amount of time that can never be properly justified.

But until then, Hotaru will follow the blind man with map, wondering how the hell Akira always manages to read it correctly, when Hotaru can't even tell which way up it goes. And Akira will make sure that Hotaru doesn't do anything _**too **_stupid. (But then again, even Akira likes to have fun sometimes.)

-

"I know that I can't always protect you." Yukimura mutters quietly, not looking at the sleeping ninja. "But I can always give you a home to come back to and a family who care about you. I'd even say that we all love you, in our own ways."

When the teenager shifts slightly, Yukimura tightens his grip on Sasuke.

"Don't die." With that quiet command, Yukimura falls silent and simply watches over his ninja.

_/ __'__ Maybe everything will be okay for once. __'__ / _

**End Story.**

**_Disclaimer: Don't Own._**

**_Chapter Sixteen, the End of 'Love is For Humans, Not Things.'_**

**_Check out the Sequel, 'With Or Without You' Which is a ONESHOT, and sometime later on, once I'm a bit more together, the proper multi-length chapter sequel called 'Zero Night' will be out!_**

**_See you soon!_**


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